I really didn't want to

Friday night was day three of 30 Day Shred and I was more than happy to participate. Tonight I just did not want to in the least. I spent all of Tally's walk trying to come up with a valid reason why I just couldn't possibly come up with one. I knew that I really needed to suck it up and do night #4.

So after our walk I fed Tally and changed into my workout clothes. Then I started up the DVD and sucked it up. Of course I spent the entire time bitching and moaning and whining in my head, and even occasionally out loud.

Now that I'm done I'm still pissed off about it. What an oddity I am.

Shred - Day 2

It really is quite amazing how twenty minutes of a workout video can knock you on your rear. Really that woman is crazy and all parts of my body hurt like hell. But the pain tells you it's working, right? The pain certainly makes it feel like it's working. There are muscles screaming out that I had forgotten were a part of my anatomy. Going to keep going. Keep pushing and panting.

Spending and shredding

Last week I bent down to pet Tally and split one of my two pairs of jeans that are worth wearing. I have two others but I do not like how they fit. So that leaves me with one pair of jeans and nothing else. So horror of horrors I had to go jean shopping. Blech.

Saturday I went to Nordstrom and spent a small fortune on one pair of jeans. Some obviously incredible designer that I've never heard of. I tried on so many pairs that my fingers turned blue. The gal who helped me was really sweet and of course the size of a little twig. At one point said she was jealous of my "curves" and didn't like her boy shaped body. Why do we always want what we don't have?

But the point is that I'm still having buyers remorse about the jeans. I'm not kidding about the small fortune part. I mean it's practically a car payment. Do I really need jeans like that? I think they look pretty good or I would never have spent that much money. But wouldn't they look even better without so much of me filling them up? I don't yet have an answer for the first question so I decided to really try working on the second, the squishy uncomfortable one.

I've started taking the stairs up from the transit tunnel, that's three flights. Then from there I walk up, and I do mean up, the two blocks to the farthest building entrance. By the time I get to the elevator lobby I'm breathless and my legs are burning. But really that's not enough. I've got to do more than a few stairs and a couple of blocks of hills. Tonight I added the 30 Day Shred DVD into the mix. My god does Jillian really hit you hard. I had forgotten how much your muscles feel used (perhaps abused) afterwards. Even though it's only 20 minutes it feels like a year. It's got to make a difference. All that put together has got to help the squishy spongy saggy parts. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'm STICKING TO IT!!!

So the horridly expensive jeans have a reprieve. I'll give it a month, all four weeks, 28 days of February. If things are feeling better, if there's less squish back there, then I will give myself the gift of the designer jeans. Just perhaps I'll even get to exchange them for a smaller size. I think they are worth a month of hard work no matter what the size. I think I'm worth a month of hard work no matter what.

Recap and another Shred

Had a nothing much weekend. Could have been social and hid instead. On Sunday I was expecting a call from an elementary school friend but she didn't call. Feeds right into all of my insecurities. Instead I vacuumed out my car, took Tally to the dog park, and did another day of 30 day shred. So in truth Sunday wasn't all bad but it was supposed to be better.

Saturday I took Tally for a long meandering walk more than an hour to Green Lake and back. That felt good. That was all I did that day. Didn't even shower. Naps and way too much DIY TV. I got a call from a friend to go to a movie, let it go to voicemail and couldn't bring myself to call him back.

This morning there was snow on the ground. Snow in Seattle is becoming all too common and I do not like it at all.

I called to get Tally a surgery consult appointment to remove the polyp. An hour long appointment next Tuesday afternoon for $125. That's just the pre-op. God knows what the actual surgery will cost. Oh well she is more than worth it. She woke me up Sunday morning puking again. Wish I could figure out what triggers that.

That is all.