Wanting

There are so many things that I want. There are so many areas of my life that I want things.

Home- Redo the bathroom tile. Turn the washing machine around so that it is in the bedroom rather than behind the bathroom door. Build a larger bedroom closet. A Queen bed. A headboard. Bedroom rug. A rug for the den. Paint the house. Paint the den. Repaint the bedroom.

Professional - a management team I respect, a company that has a direction, a career path with growth, to know what I want to be when I grow up, work that will fill me, work I want to go to each morning.

Personal - A relationship with someone I can rely on, who can rely on me, who I can count on, who can count on me, who I can do things with, who I can talk things over with, bounce things off of, plan things with, raise children with, share the chores with, take care of, get taken care of by, laugh with, cry with, walk the dog with, plan things with, make dinner with, cuddle with, watch movies with, play games with, yell with, deal with,

How do you find all of the things you want? How can you make your life more than it is? Where do you even begin when there are so many things you want? Does making a list help you get there? What is the priority when you really want it all, all of it now, all of it this minute? Rolling Stones know that you can't always get what you want but I really wish I could. I really wish for all that I want.

Back again; 2010 book reading begins

Went away again didn't I? Not even sure what I wrote here last. So let's just start again, shall we?

Had a pretty good holiday. Dad came to visit for Thanksgiving. We painted my bedroom ceiling and walls. Took a while for me to get used to the wall color. It's an apple green. Still trying to find a duvet cover that works with the wall color and the new drapes I chose. The drapes are a dark gray. Also need to get myself an actual dresser. Haven't found anything that I like quite yet. Christmas was good too. I was a PMS crazed lunatic right before New Year's so I was asleep by 10:30. Oh well to that one.

Tally's doing really well. Still a sweetie and staying healthy. Yeah!

On January 3rd I hit Half Price Books and walked away with 9 books for less than $40. Made me so stupidly happy to have that many books waiting to be read next to my bed. Just finished the first one of the pile on the bus ride home tonight. It was The Beekeeper's Apprentice by Laurie R. King. It is the first of a series and I'm looking forward to reading the next ones. The story involves a young woman and her friendship and partnership with Sherlock Holmes. Really well done and worth reading. I'm glad that Peter suggested it. And that I finally found it at HPB.

Not sure which book I'll start next. I'll have to see what interests me on the pile before bed tonight. I shall try to keep up and not stay away so long again.

Where'd she go?

It happened again. I stopped writing here. Can't figure out why but it did. It does.

Don't have a ton to say so I'll just start by telling you what's been going on.

Boss was gone for the last two weeks of July and it was fantastic. Loved it. Got to make the decisions about what people where doing almost as if I was actually fulfilling my job description! Also had a few meetings with Big boss (my boss's father) about how things were going with boss and how I should tailor my interactions with him to suit his style because that's what he needs. That's how he works. That's what I should do. Um wait a minute I say. Why is it that my style works well with everyone else in the office and not boss but it's me that has to change? Why is it that boss's style means that no one wants to work with him but we are the ones who have to change? Don't think so big boss. Things need to change and it isn't me that's the issue. He says he's going to make things happen. Little boss has been back a week and so far nothing's changed. Wait and see.

Got all of my plans for my vacation set. Flight, hotels and car. All ready to go. Now I just have to wait two more weeks and it will be vacation city for this gal. Tally's going to stay with my mom for the week.

Speaking of Tally she's been doing great. She's loving our longer summer walks and so am I. She's been shedding like crazy! The heat last week of July really killed her energy level and turned her into a shedding machine. I can't keep up with all of the hair. No matter how often I clean. This week her energy has been getting back to normal. She's playing a ton and seems really happy.

This past week a contractor has been tearing out the common wall between the bedrooms from Molly's side. So poor Molly has been having to live sleeping in her living room all week. Can you even imagine? Going from a small place (650 sq ft) and not having the use of an entire room for a week!!! Ugh. He took out the existing drywall and lame insulation replaced it with quiet batt insulation, homasote sound barrier board and will drywall over it all tomorrow. He's also been building out her closet in the plan I came up with. Then while I'm vacation he's going to build out my closet. I'm very lucky to not have to live through the construction like Molly has had to.

Well that's all I can think of for now. Perhaps I'll be back again soon.

Chemo #5 - Checking in

Friday morning was Tally's 5th Chemo appointment. Overall I'm shocked by how well she does each time. She's always so sweet and happy to see all of the people at the vet office. But I suppose that really shouldn't shock me. She's generally a happy easy going dog.

The side effects are fairly minimal. The list of what could happen is rather long and so far hers are centered around the lethargy and a bit of a stomach issue. This time the stomach hasn't been as big of a deal. But she has been pretty tired. I'm not sure if I'll know what to do with her when this is over and she wants to start playing again. That will be strange.

But really she is doing great and it's almost over. Only one more to go. Can't wait for it to be over. The vet said that she's not sure yet how to monitor her afterwards. So I'm a bit nervous about that. I'm sure it won't be awful but I'm not good with unknowns so I'll be really glad when that's all sorted.

And now for a graceful switch of topics today I did a bunch of stuff around the house, inside and out. Started by waking at 5:20 even with my newly purchased sleep mask. That's frustrating. Stayed up for a bit and then back to sleep for a bit. Up for good at 9. Then a Tally walk and off to Home Depot. Had to buy some plants for a big container on the patio, some mulch, and black spray paint. See I've got these two red and white patio chairs that are looking a bit worse for wear so I decided to spray paint them black. That way they will match the new chair I bought this year. Unfortunately today it was too windy. So when I got home it was all about yard work. Blech. But the pot is now full of color and one of the beds is fully mulched. Also got a bit of weeding done on the patio. Then inside to paint the ceiling in the hallway and do laundry. Full day all around.

Oh and I think today was day 7 of the Active 30 day challenge. After figuring out my earlier issues with the system (the position you hold the remotes in is VERY important) it's turning into a really great workout. I'm feeling better about my body in lots of ways. Huge step forward there. The med taper is still going well. I don't HAVE to nap any more and if I do it's only an hour or so, not 3 or 4.

Spent time today researching vacation options. My mom called yesterday and offered to take Tally for me so I can go somewhere. The best time for her is August so I've been focused on that time frame. I'm having a hard time figuring out where to go and what to do. I haven't ever taken a vacation by myself and I'm not sure what it will be like. Should I take a tour somewhere or just lay low somewhere? Pros and cons of both. Tour means no alone time, right? Lay low means all alone time, right? I like the idea of being active and I like the idea of being lazy. Mountains would be nice and ocean would be nice. Can I somehow have an active, lazy, social, alone, beachy, mountainy vacation? If so, where?

Another graceful topic change; I joined a book club. I found a listing on meetup.com for a book club that seemed like it might be interesting. It meets once a month and for June they chose two books! I've finished the first and read a few pages of the second last night. The first one was The Alienist. Didn't love it. Thought the writing was a bit forced because it was written in first person recollection. Way too many times where he said "but I didn't know it then" or "it didn't occur to me then". Clunky. Hopefully the next will be better. No matter what it adds a social outlet that I need. I've also joined a few other groups too. Haven't gone to any actual meetups yet but I joined the groups. Does that count for anything? My little brain says yep.

I believe that's all for now. See you all later.

It's time for an update

Tally had Chemo #4 on Friday morning. This one was really easy. I can't believe I just called Chemo easy. But it was a lot less difficult than the first three. I'd say nary a side effect to be seen. WAHOO! She's still being picky about eating her normal food but I've been able to combat that by adding the canned version to her dry. She eats it all up lickey split.

This morning we took our normal walk and weekend Starbucks stop. Tally's usually very compliant when I leave her outside but today she just couldn't stand me leaving her behind. She kept barking and drawing me back out to her. A couple with a pug, wife getting the drinks and husband staying with the dog, offered to watch her while I went in. Tally was still very concerned that I was leaving her even with her new friends keeping her company. We usually get to Starbucks a bit earlier than we did today so there was a lot more activity than normal. I think that's why or at least that's what I'm sticking with. Right now she's passed out tummy side up.

And let's see an Emily update. The med taper is going fairly well. The shaking and jitters seem to have passed. Still having problems thinking of the proper words at times but oh well. My energy level has increased, which is GREAT! I'm able to go an entire weekend without a nap. That in itself is a miracle. I seem to need a lot less sleep overall which again miraculous. I've been tackling tasks around the house and generally able to keep moving. On Tuesday it will have been two weeks on the decreased dose and I'm not sure when I'll stop entirely. Maybe a few more weeks. I'll give it time. Take it slow and easy. For now I'm really happy with how it's going and I'll keep it at that.

Off to get more done around the casa. Perhaps I'll get those under cabinet lights installed. Certainly have to keep going on the den.

Happy weekend to all!

My own internal buzz

Shall I just pick up where I left off? I would but I'm not entirely sure where I left off here. I've been gone for a while and so rather than try to figure it out I'll just start spilling some things and see what sticks.

On Labor Day weekend I bought a whole big lot of fun stuff. Started with a Roomba on Saturday. Oh Roomba how I love thee and your dirt sucking nature. Then there was the Wii on Sunday. Oh Wii and Lego Star Wars how I adore thee and your time sucking nature. And then there was the Volkswagen Tiguan on Monday. Oh Tiguan how I worship thee and your... well... nothing sucks about you oh Tiguan of my dreams.

Since then the majority of September has slipped by and I have hardly noticed its passing (blame it on the Wii). How did it get to be the first day of fall 2008? I mean wasn't Y2K just yesterday?

I did get a few things done around the house. Nothing earth shattering like taking down walls, that would be so fall 2007. This time it was those tiny little things that sit undone and mock you in their undone-ness every time you pass them. Edging the front planting beds with the leftover patio pavers being one. And the partial weeding of the "backyard" being another.

Nothing new on the foot or should I say toe front. I'm thinking of getting a second opinion but am going to wait until after I start on the insurance plan at new workplace which is October 1st. My shingle outbreak started to itch yesterday for no reason at all that I can determine when it hasn't bothered me in quite a while. Today I feel as though I forgot to take my meds but I'm nearly certain I did. The "forgot my meds" feeling is one of a nearly panic attack like jittery going to bust out of my skin at any moment type of thing. Perhaps this is why I'm actually taking the time to write. That and Amy said I should. (Hi Amy!)

At this very moment Tally could be at home filling it with poo. She has never gone two walks in a row without a numero 2 except last night and then this morning. It makes me nervous. Perhaps my attempt at getting her poo to a better consistency..... Wait am I oversharing about my dogs poo? Feel free to skip this paragraph if you'd rather not have all of these details. See she has this issue with her anal glands filling up and then needing to be squeezed or un-filled. You know that they need to be attended to because she starts dragging her little behind on everything and anything. Molly's legs not included, she just licks those. Anyway I digress. I've had to bring her in twice so far for anal gland attention and in order to try to alleviate that I was told to add some fiber to her diet. Benefiber was my fiber additive of choice. So far she loves it when I add the Benefiber and licks her bowl clean afterwards but there had been no change in her habits and output. And then last night and this morning there was no output. Nervous. It makes me nervous.

Enough of that what else?? Oh I should be focusing on dating. Should be but am having a very tough time actually putting it into practice. The thought of dating makes me more nervous than Tally's bowels. I wish I wasn't single. I'd rather not be single. But the thought of doing anything at all about that situation brings me to tears (Right, Girls?). So is that why I feel like I forgot my meds today? It's just a physical reaction to my mental struggle with the world of dating? If you have an answer for that I will pay you much hard earned cash monies.

So I believe you may have had quite enough from this insane person today so I shall sign off for now. Hopefully I shall return sooner rather than later.

New job = no blogging on work hours; and etc.

The new job has left me with no time (except right this very moment) to blog during work hours. So that's where I went. Surprise that I actually have to work at new job rather than sit and do nothing like I was able to do at old job.

New job is going well. Only a few days in so it could all change but for now I'm having a good time. Starting to feel my way around and through all of the "processes" that I am supposed to be helping to sort out and streamline. Let me tell you it's going to take a whole lot of brain power on my part to determine the Standard Operation Procedures (SOP) around here. It is convoluted to say the very least. Even those people who have been here a while have no idea of what should happen when and what triggers what. It is a mess. I love sorting out messes.

Now for a non-job update. This weekend was a nice long one for me. Job was closed on Friday the 4th and I took an unpaid day off on Monday the 7th. Four days off did me some good. I had a pretty good 4th. Went to a pot-new where everyone has to bring something new that they've wanted to try making. There was a TON of good food. I had been dying for some sweet potato fries for a while and thought I would try making them myself. It was a shock but they actually turned out really good. Soggy but still oh so tasty. They got very favorable reviews from other party goers and were quickly finished off. I now have two official hits for potlucks: black bean and corn salsa (thanks to Liz for that recipe) and baked sweet potato fries. I'm nearly a gourmet cook.

As a general rule I am not a fan of the 4th of July. It's the normal people setting off fireworks all over the place that gets to me. I feel as though I am one split second away from getting blown to bits and it's almost more than I can handle. So I spent Saturday recovering from my trauma (no there wasn't any REAL trauma but my head thought there was) and nearly slept the day away. Tally was very sleepy as well so we were two bumps most of the day. Very nice. That evening I started to scrub my shower surround in preparation for sealing it. My shower surround is slate as is the floor and I'm nearly certain it was never sealed after its installation and before I bought the place.

So that brings me to Sunday where I actually sealed the slate and nearly died. If it weren't for Amy showing up and waking me from my slumber Tally and I may have succumbed to the fumes. Not really but apparently my house was uber-stinky and I didn't even realize it. Fast forward to Sunday night where I try to fall asleep with a raging headache most likely from all of the nearly dead brain cells trying to regenerate themselves. Ugh.

Monday was paint, patio set and plant buying day. Molly and I agreed very easily on the patio set and the plants. We even got the plants in the ground last night as well. I swear that I will get some pictures soon. Probably once the patio set is put together cause then it will look all pretty and stuff.

Today I am back into the swing of things at work or something like that. I'm also feeling very very very abnormally large. So tonight I am hoping to get up the courage to take Tally roller blading for the first time. Wish me luck.

I have missed you dear blog and I do apologize for my absence. I will pay more attention to you I pinkie swear.

Obviously I'm made of money

It's the only thing that explains the sudden out flow of cash from my life. This weekend was a shopping extravaganza. Saturday 5 hours spent downtown with Britten lots of money spent and lots of great items to show for it. There are the MIRACLE jeans, all of these cute tops (several I cannot find on the website), and two pairs of Eddie Bauer shorts (which I can't link to because their site just doesn't want me to). So that's 1 pair of MIRACLE jeans, 5 tops, and two pairs of shorts. A stunning achievement in clothing purchasing for this gal.

And now a word about the MIRACLE jeans. They are not in fact called MIRACLE jeans but they should be. Britten and I both bought a pair because they looked really great on both of us. I mean REALLY great. These jeans also have the distinction of making every single other piece of clothing you are wearing look perfect on you. Britten and I started trying things on specifically with the jeans on because they really would make everything look better. I advise each and every one of you to go out right now and try on the MICHAEL Michael Kors Greenwich Stretch Jeans. I'm not kidding. Go now. They have them at Macy's. You can thank me later.

Enough about clothing, really all of that purchasing is noteworthy, but I now move on to the financial outlay from Sunday. One word: Target. This trip to Target was a big one. I have not filled a cart there in years! I bought an obscene amount of stuff. I "needed" to get a new set of sheets for the new item I will tell you about in the next paragraph. Oh and that item also "needed" a throw pillow and then these new curtains jumped into my cart too. I can tell you that the den/guest room is going to look adorable. As soon as it does I'll post a picture.

Last weekend is when the financial outlay began in full force. I bought the Troy Twin Sleeper. That purchase is what brought about the Target run. Troy the second is scheduled to arrive on the 28th (happy day after my birthday to me!) just in time for Liz to be the first to christen it's twin sleeperness.

That was my weekend in a nutshell. Stimulating the economy. It was great.

Chair, how do I love thee?

I am in deep, adoring, abiding love with this chair.

Yes, I realize it might just look like any old chair to you but to me it is perfection in a little teak and aluminum package. I can't explain it properly or fully but I want it. Well, to be exact I want two of it. I know where I can buy them but good god almighty they are nearly $200 each and that's the sale price. What is a gal on a budget to do? I mean I've still got a patio, fence, landscaping and insulation to pay for. I've been scouring the old interwebs for what seems like ever now looking for chairs and a small table to add to my living room.

So what's your vote? Should I just say to hell with it if you love something you should buy it? Or shall I keep on looking? I'll leave it to you and if you don't respond then fine I'll just pout. I probably won't pout but I'll have to make up my own mind and that's not nearly as fun.

Oh and another thing what kind of little (approx 27" diameter) table should I buy? I haven't found the love of my life in table form and would most definitely be open to suggestions.

It's overwhelming

I am feeling overwhelmed. I hardly slept last night because I kept thinking of all of the things I want/need to get done this week.

Oh and my house REEKED of Arm & Hammer Pet Fresh which is quite obviously the olfactory equivalent of the devil. Holy hell that stuff is so potent I honestly think that the stench of it kept waking me up. Can a smell do that? Can it invade your senses so much that it pulls you from your sleep causing you to yearn to smell anything else in the world other than that sickly sweet floral stench? I need to remember to tell Molly not to come over for a while, she'd most certainly barf at that smell.

But I digress, back to overwhelming feelings and not scents. On Sunday I finally bought a new cell phone. I didn't want to because I quite honestly loved my little Nokia brick style phone. I'd had it for years. I've lost count of how many. I knew how it worked and where to find all of the options and features. But alas poor little Nokia was starting to lose it. The battery would suddenly go from nearly fully charged to the dreaded "Battery Low" in mere moments. Then on Saturday some of the keys seemed to only work if I smacked the phone around for a bit. As fun as both of those new 'features' seem, since it is in fact my only phone I thought it was best to finally go in for an upgrade. I really wish I wouldn't have.

I decided on another Nokia because it seemed like the easy and safe solution. But this one is a flip phone and I don't like flip phones AT ALL. I also don't like the User Interface AT ALL. I thought because it was a Nokia that I would know where all of the features and options were without having to work at it, but NO. They changed the UI completely. It's horrid. I hate it. Hate Hate Hate Hate. Oh and would someone explain to me how a bluetooth headset is supposed to make my life easier? Now I have another thing to charge all of the time. How is that easier?

Yes I realize that I sound like a Luddite. I'm not. Well most of the time anyway. Apparently when it comes to cell phones I just want a phone. But from what I gather that is too much to ask. Ick. Now I need to crawl back to the cell phone store and get something else. Something that doesn't make me want to smash it into a million and ten pieces just at the sight of it. So that's overwhelming me.

Then there's training Tally. I had the first training session last night which was owners only, no dogs. I felt in over my head. The list of things they want us to try to teach them before the next class is LONG. I should be looking forward to training her but I'm stressed about being able to find the appropriate amount of time.

I also need to figure out a better way to give Tally a bath in my tub. The $40+ I spent at Home Depot last night trying to pull together a hand held shower option just doesn't seem like it's going to work. Of course I haven't tried it but I'm overwhelmed at the thought of it.

Then there's the whole needing to find a new job thing. I have a dentist appointment this afternoon. The guy is coming today to start work on the patio.

OK yes I'm stressed and feeling overwhelmed but I know that it will pass. These things that seem like a huge deal right at this moment will all get dealt with at some point. I will make it through. Right? Really I will, right?

Marge is coming and I'm cleaning

My home visit has been scheduled for tomorrow @ 7 PM. A woman named Marge is coming to check out my place to make sure it passes the test of where a dog should live. Good god I hope it does. How could it not you ask? No clue.

In preparation for Marge's visit I spent much of last night sorting through the miscellaneous crap that has been piling up over the past few months. The den actually has a floor and you can see the walls of the room as well. It actually looks like a room and not just a storage facility. The pile of items to donate to charity has taken over half of the living room so that it now looks like a storage facility. Tonight I'm planning on loading it into the car and actually delivering it to the donation location.

My hope is with the house seeming put together and clean then it will seem bigger and more dog worthy. I'm certain I won't be able to sort through everything and make it as perfect as anal-retentive me would like but it's a start.

I feel like my life is starting back up again with all of my doggie excitement. I'm starting to feel like I might be able to tackle those things that had for so long been sitting and waiting. Take the den as an example. It has been the place where crap goes to die since I moved into my house 9 months ago. It wasn't a useful or productive space at all. In fact I could hardly ever get myself to cross the threshold to check my email. Going in there at all was a panic inducing, heart pounding experience.

No matter how hard I tried I could not muster up the motivation and strength to deal with that room. Now that I might be a doggie mommy I'm feeling a bit more strength. Just a little bit. I will admit that I had to stop and leave the room several times last night because I just couldn't keep the bad feelings at bay. I was able to go back in after a break though which I'm very proud of.

You wouldn't think that a person who adores organization and structure as much as I do would have such a block in dealing with this type of situation. But I do. Carol and I have talked about it and I have many ideas why but that hasn't made them disappear. It's still there and it still works me into an emotional frenzy to even think about it.

I'm doing what I can to make my life "work" again and I'm very hopeful that adopting Kelly is just the motivation I've been searching for. Having another being to be responsible for and care for is going to change my life and I know it will be for the better.

The Ugh's have taken hold

Things with family have calmed down a bit. I'm slowly acclimating to the fact that things have changed. I'm certainly not happy about any of it but perhaps it's just starting to feel more real and less like a horrid nightmare.

Things with my guts are the same. Still annoying and rather flatulent. Did I just over share? Sorry. But I've been practically pouring fiber down my throat every time my mouth opens so I guess the excess air is a result. I'm planning on seeing a dietitian at some point. Not sure why I'm putting it off. Perhaps my fears of food have made me fearful of talking about it with someone else. Either way I suppose I can't keep guessing at what might help forever. I do need to find/create/develop some sort of focused strategy. Ugh. Sounds like so much work it makes me tired just thinking about it.

Then there's the dog. I have been looking via the lovely internet for pooches at local shelters. So far no one has struck me. I'm sure if I saw any of them in real physical form I'd fall in love with each and every one. At some point I need to work up the courage to actually visit a shelter.

The job is not getting any better. No surprise there. I'm scared to move on but I know that I absolutely have to. This place does not suit me at all. I'm way too social to be satisfied to working with only 2 or 3 other people. Right now there is just two of us here. I've got my iPod shoved into my ears to drown out the boredom of it all. Another Ugh.

Molly is working on a bid for getting insulation added to our common wall in the house. This weekend she also got another Landscape guy out about the patio. I liked this guy much more than the other one we talked to. He'll fit our budget much better too. I think he'll be able to start some time mid-March or so. Patio!!!!

Haven't done anything about dating for the past week or so. Just don't feel up for it.

How many items have I now listed that I just don't want to deal with? Food, Job, Dating. Thankfully I'm seeing Carol tomorrow. Things are always better once she and I hash them out together. I really hope that will happen again this time.

What a boring and rather depressing post. At least it looks like the sun is trying to burn through the clouds out there. That's good. Spring is trying to push it's way in and I'm glad for that.

For now I'm off to feed myself. Hunger is getting the better of me. But what should I eat? Ugh.

It was a busy busy weekend.

This weekend I had two dates with two different guys (I'm a DATER!) and did some shopping on both Friday and Sunday.

I had realized on Friday night that the rug in my living room is not holding up like I want it to and now that I have Troy and Darby it just doesn't look right. On Friday night I went to UVillage to see if I could find any interesting rugs and I was also on the hunt for throw pillows or a throw as well. Didn't buy anything for the living room but I did buy a new pair of jeans which I wore all weekend and I'm wearing right now. Thank you Eddie Bauer!

I did find a rug at Crate and Barrel that I can't get out of my head which taking as a good sign. It's the Genesis rug. On Sunday while at the downtown Seattle Macy's I looked through their rug selection and I kept comparing them all to the Genesis. So Genesis it is. Of course I reserve the right to change my mind but at this very moment I'm thinking Genesis and I will be joining forces. I love calling my things by their names. It makes me laugh.

Macy's was having a Home Sale so I thought I would look for new sheets too. I found a set of Martha Stewart all cotton sheets that are 360 thread count in a color called Pear. They are a bright green and look great. I'm not ecstatic with how they feel even after I washed them and I'm really hoping they will soften up over time. The color is gorgeous but doesn't go well with my winter duvet cover. It might be time to get a new duvet cover since I've had it for a while and doesn't seem to be "me" anymore. Have to wait and see about that. I'm hoping the color goes with my summer quilt. I'll have to check that out tonight.

On Saturday afternoon I finally put the decals on my bedroom window. I think it looks really cool. Like shadows being cast by some odd contemporary plants. They make the window seem less like a frosted hole in the wall. I'll get a picture up soon.

I'm really happy with how the weekend went. This week has also started off on a good footing because I made it passed my goal weight for the work weight loss bet. Final weigh in is on Monday the 11th. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Therapy on Thursday and I have another assignment. I'll write about that a bit later.

Anticipation of what's coming next

It's finally here the very last day of 2007. This year has gone by so quickly but so many things have happened. I for one am glad to kick 2007 out to the curb and welcome 2008 in with open arms. Here's to you 2008! You are warmly welcomed.


This year I want to (in no particular order):

• DATE! A lot. As much as possible.


• Build a patio.


• Finally unpack each and every box in my house and find a proper place for everything.


• Finish painting the interior of my house (kitchen, hallway, bathroom, bedroom, den).

So what are my New Year's Resolutions? To fix up the house so it feels cozy, welcoming and lovely. To keep being social and dating as much as absolutely possible. To not hide away from anything ever. To embrace who I am, every piece of me. To fix the things I have power over and let go of those things that I don't. How I react to this year is my choice; take care of it and take care of myself.

Tonight will be spent @ Britten and Brooke's which is where I spent last New Year's with him. He'll probably be there with his girlfriend. I'm not going to hide from that but it will be tough. But I'm tough too.

Here's to 2008! I'm so glad you are here.

Thanks to my therapist I am now Digital

I took the plunge last night I went to Best Buy last night and bought a digital camera. I spent the rest of the evening taking pictures, well after I charged the battery for the first time that is.

Here are a couple of pictures of the scarf I am knitting. I took these in two different Macro Modes.


And now the much anticipated pictures of Darby and Troy.












So Britten, what do you think?? :) Don't pay any attention to the fact that I didn't clean up or stage the pictures at all.

I spent most of the evening playing with the multitude of settings available. I'm still very confused but I think I'm starting to understand how to use it I had to try a variety of lighting options to get the couch picture to look as good as it does. So far I'm not very impressed with the indoor pictures but overall the camera is great. It's a Canon PowerShot SD850 IS.

So the reason I finally bought a digital camera was because at therapy yesterday we decided that I need to get some really good pictures up on my eHarmony and Match.com profiles. I'm even going to bring in printouts of my profiles from each site for her to look at. Hopefully with some assistance from her we'll be able to get a great photo and tweak my profiles to actually make them work for me. Right now they are just not cutting it.

I'm tired and Seattle is a small town

I am so very tired this afternoon. I saw my therapist this morning and then came back to work. That has proved very difficult on poor little me. I'm yawning and my eyes are burning. I suppose the burning eyes are from the tears shed in the therapists office. Annoying either way.

Since I was with you last the following situations have occurred:
- On Saturday I ran in to Jess, Josh and Jackson @ REI. I had been there looking for a new warmer coat and was about to go home when I saw them drive by me. I then got to spend time playing with Jackson while his mom and pop shopped for Jackson packs. You know those backpack baby carriers? Well they found one that they liked and decided to then try loading the little man into it. He was a complete trooper! While they were just loading him in this little girl came up to us and looked right at Jackson and said "That little baby in there is very cute." So adorable!!! It was about that time that I realized I was probably going to get a parking ticket because I hadn't planned on being there nearly that long. So I said goodbye to the J's and headed outside where it was now snowing like the dickens!
- On Sunday I was trying to find a free parking spot to go to the Urban Craft Uprising. As I came around the corner of Mercer and I think it was 5th I spotted Mel's car. I was nearly certain that she was at the UCU too. I tried her cell but it went straight to voicemail. I slowly made my way through the amazing booths and kept an eye out for her. About half way through my wanderings I heard her laugh and there she was with Ed talking to one of the vendors.
- On Tuesday I had a fit of motivational energy and decided the time had most certainly come to fix the closet in the den. I can't stand to even look in there anymore, let alone go in the room because it is so overly full of crap! The floor is barely visible. Since good organization can fix any ill, I had to take advantage of this rare motivated moment and go to Storables. The gal who worked out the dimensions for the shelves I needed asked if I was planning on buying the shelves today because if I wanted to wait their 25% off sale started on the 26th. So I decided to wait. Rather than go home completely empty handed I looked around Storables for something else that I just had to have. As I was searching I ran into my therapist and her 4 year old son. I have never run into her before and wasn't sure what to do. I had a quick "should I or shouldn't I" conversation with myself about if I should say hello. I decided that I should. So I did. She was very sweet and even gave me a hug. Then for hours afterwards I was wondering if I had done the wrong thing. If I should have just left her alone. Jess said that if she sees patients out and about she doesn't approach them but is totally fine if they approach her. I was so glad that she said that. And then today when I saw my therapist Storables was the very first thing that we talked about. She was totally fine with it too! Made me feel so much better.

See what I mean about Seattle being a small town though? I ran into three people I know in the span of four days. Oh and I also saw a story on "Evening Magazine" about a Christmas tree farmer who's daughter was in my dorm freshman year. So that's sort of another one.

What else do I want to tell you? Perhaps that's enough for right now. I am planning on finally buying myself a digital camera so pictures of the new living room are coming soon. I'll tell you later what pushed me over the camera buying edge today. It's pretty funny. But that's all for now. Hasta luego!

An Electrical Weekend

On Sunday an electrician come by to do a few things in Molly's place, remove the old mostly unused electrical mast, and pull wire to two new boxes in my bathroom.

When I remodeled the bathroom I removed the old light fixture and covered over the electrical box with cabinetry. Don't worry it's just IKEA cabinetry so it's easily removed to get access to the electrical box. I wanted to put two new lights to the side of the new mirror but really wasn't sure how to get the wire and boxes to their new locations. So since the electrician was there I threw my money at him. Within about an hour he had gone to Home Depot for supplies, cut holes to pull the new wire and installed the two new boxes.

Later that afternoon I finally pulled the bathroom back together and installed the new lights. They look great! I'm so glad they are finally in there. I can actually see myself in the mirror now. Which is perhaps both a good thing and a bad thing.

Now all that's left in order to really finish the bathroom is to find the right paint color and center the mirror over the sink. It's off to the left for some reason. I perhaps may not have followed the "measure twice, hang once" adage the first time out. Oops.

The front of the house looks much better without that silly mast sitting smack dab in the front of it. The three unused wires (two cable, one phone) are now dangling out at the utility pole. Gotta figure out who to call to fix that. I think Molly may have taken a picture or two. I'll get those from her to post here.

I promise will soon post pictures of the living room. Probably this weekend, once I've taken the TV to my brothers place.

Items are getting crossed off of the list. Love it when that happens!

Darby must be a Siren

Last night as I was driving to the manned UPS facility south of downtown I realized that I had left the address and directions back at work. For some reason I remembered that it was on 7th and perhaps it might just be on the 4400 block of 7th. I've been there once before but it was probably four years ago at least. So I continued making my way south in the hope that I was right and it was where I "felt" it was going to be. Oh and I had forgotten the little slip they leave on your door at work too and my license still has my old address on it. All of these things made it seem as though I was not destined to add Darby to my life last night.

But I kept heading south on 7th, holding off an anxiety attack with all of my might because all I really wanted to do tonight was get this errand done for the love of the holy person. Yes, I have been a bit on edge lately, why do you ask? And yes, I did leave a message for my therapist last night asking for an appointment if you must know.

I digress. I was travelling south on 7th when all of the sudden I felt as though I was supposed to turn right, so I did. Then I knew I was supposed to veer left and lo and behold what did I spy ahead of me... the Manned UPS Facility! Darby was getting closer.

I parked and held my newly elevated hopes in check as I walked inside expecting to be turned away for not having sufficient proof of who I am and what package I was supposed to be picking up. As I waited in line for the next available Manned Facility attendant, who turned out to be a woman, I steeled myself to be turned away because of my lack of proper ownership proof.

I handed over my license and she took one look at it and said "Emily, this isn't your current address, is it?" I hadn't yet uttered a single solitary word to her. I stammered a bit and then said "No. It's not." She asked "What's your current address?" To which I said "XXXX Avenue N". To which she said, "That's right. I'll go get your box. It's a bit of a big box, right?"

Shock and awe. This wonderful, smiling manned UPS facility service person knew I was coming. She knew I wanted Darby without even knowing that Darby was inside said big box. I have come up with only two explanations for this; 1) Manned UPS facility service person is psychic. 2) Darby is a siren and she makes her wishes known to all around her.

Either way Darby is now home as is her wish, unpacked and filling her place in the living room wonderfully. I promise that I will soon put up pictures of the living room. It is coming along nicely. Especially now that Troy and Darby have made their way home.

To the Gym and Parts South with You

I made it to the gym last night. It felt great! 25 minutes on the elliptical and then another 20 (1 mile) on the treadmill. Hopefully I will remember just how good it feels and continue to go. Too bad the endorphin high has already worn off.

Tonight I have to head south of downtown to the UPS facility (the parcel service, not my Alma mater) to pick up Darby. I left work early yesterday to try to meet the UPS man when they said they would come by. They came nearly 2 hours earlier than they said they would. So instead of trying to catch them again today I just had the package re-routed for pick up at the "nearest manned facility." For some reason I find that term funny.

Here's hoping that Darby is waiting for me with little bells on. I certainly can't wait to see her.

The Living Room is "Done"

OK so it's not completely done but it's so close I can almost taste it. I wonder what living room tastes like?

This weekend I primed the newly textured living room walls and then painted both of those walls as well. I even hung a picture! It's starting to look a bit like a home. Thank the holy guy for that. I was beginning to lose a bit of patience with myself. OK not a bit of patience a LOT of patience.

This week is better than last week for all of the normal female reasons. Hopefully that will help me accomplish even more this week than last, like actually setting foot in the gym. You've got to have goals, right?

Here are my goals for foreseeable future: (I'm hoping that by writing them down I'll feel more empowered to make them happen.)

1) Go to the gym. Every other day would be GREAT!
2) Finish off the living room. Hang more pictures, attach shelves in tall Besta unit and attach to the wall, completely clean up from painting, remove old TV, sell/give away old TV stand.
3) Keep on top of the cleaning. Laundry, kitchen, bathroom. Having these items pile up makes me hate my home. Can't have that.
4) It would be wonderful to start on the den. Getting the den completed requires money to be spent on closet organization. So perhaps this has to wait for a bit. It's already been a really expensive month.
5) Painting needs to happen in nearly every room. The newly textured Kitchen wall, redo the bathroom to a better color, make the "hallway" match the living room, add color to bedroom and den.
6) Hang the new outdoor light and house numbers. Also, finally decide on a mailbox.
7) Fix the bedroom closet floor from where the sliding doors were removed.
8) Install the door handles in the kitchen.
9) Apply the "Organic" Wall Slicks All Grey's Combo Accent Pack on top of the privacy film on the bedroom window. Hoping it will give the window a bit of depth and "life".
10) Get patio area completed.
11) Insulate the crawl space and figure out sound proofing options for the bedroom wall.

I'd say that's enough for now. Although I'm certain there are more things I want to add to this list I'm going to leave it at that. I wonder if Blogger has a list function so I could make a list for each room and then cross them off as I get them done. Who doesn't love having a list and crossing things off of it?