Pincushion

Today at work I got a bit of a wild hair and decided to try acupuncture. My back/neck/shoulders have been killing me. And as has been well documented here of late, my mood has been in a dank dark basement below hell. Oh and there's always my period which has been acting the part of an evil manipulative beotch. Yeah, I got me a body that's in crisis.

I googled acupuncture and found places near my office and my house. Checking out a few of their websites I chose one near my house and called to get an appointment. She was able to fit me in tonight!

I went, I was bit nervous, but also a little bit excited. The practitioner took me into her office to have the initial consultation. I'd filled out a couple of forms before hand but we hadn't talked at all about why I there to see her.

The first her taking a look at my right wrist. The very first words out of her mouth were that I really needed to have my uterus looked at. Um OK? Kinda creepy. She kept looking and told me that I must have had asthma problems as a child. Um, yeah, did that thing. And then, and then! Oh then she tells me that I have a really hard time eating greasy food. Seriously? How could someone possibly know that from looking at my wrist?

By this point I'm thinking that she's a miracle and I'll do each and every possible anything she says. Then there were needles which I really do hate, and then there was me pre-buying a billion and ten sessions because oh look a pre-buy discount!

I'm now an acupuncture getting person. I'll let you know how it goes.

Spending and shredding

Last week I bent down to pet Tally and split one of my two pairs of jeans that are worth wearing. I have two others but I do not like how they fit. So that leaves me with one pair of jeans and nothing else. So horror of horrors I had to go jean shopping. Blech.

Saturday I went to Nordstrom and spent a small fortune on one pair of jeans. Some obviously incredible designer that I've never heard of. I tried on so many pairs that my fingers turned blue. The gal who helped me was really sweet and of course the size of a little twig. At one point said she was jealous of my "curves" and didn't like her boy shaped body. Why do we always want what we don't have?

But the point is that I'm still having buyers remorse about the jeans. I'm not kidding about the small fortune part. I mean it's practically a car payment. Do I really need jeans like that? I think they look pretty good or I would never have spent that much money. But wouldn't they look even better without so much of me filling them up? I don't yet have an answer for the first question so I decided to really try working on the second, the squishy uncomfortable one.

I've started taking the stairs up from the transit tunnel, that's three flights. Then from there I walk up, and I do mean up, the two blocks to the farthest building entrance. By the time I get to the elevator lobby I'm breathless and my legs are burning. But really that's not enough. I've got to do more than a few stairs and a couple of blocks of hills. Tonight I added the 30 Day Shred DVD into the mix. My god does Jillian really hit you hard. I had forgotten how much your muscles feel used (perhaps abused) afterwards. Even though it's only 20 minutes it feels like a year. It's got to make a difference. All that put together has got to help the squishy spongy saggy parts. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'm STICKING TO IT!!!

So the horridly expensive jeans have a reprieve. I'll give it a month, all four weeks, 28 days of February. If things are feeling better, if there's less squish back there, then I will give myself the gift of the designer jeans. Just perhaps I'll even get to exchange them for a smaller size. I think they are worth a month of hard work no matter what the size. I think I'm worth a month of hard work no matter what.

The old switcher-oo

After I've finished reading a book I really enjoyed I find it difficult to get into the flow of a new one. It's as if that old book is so burnished into my brain and the words of that author are the only ones I can process and all others be damned.

Book 3 of 2010 started with difficulty this weekend. I kept having to re-read sentences and start paragraphs over again. The sentences seemed to scatter into word pieces in my brain that I could not put back together into a logical flow. Wait now her husband died...how, wait now she's...a widow, wait now she's living alone...where, I duh huh?

Am I the only one?

Damn you Bill

Right now Hurricane Bill is speeding his merry way along toward the Eastern Coast of the United States. At any other point in my life I would not worry one little bit about said Hurricane. But the issue with our "friend" Bill here is that he's heading to the Eastern Coast of the United States where I will be vacationing next week!

This is my first vacation, of more than a long weekend, in two and a half years. Holy hell that's a long time. And I couldn't be looking forward to it any more than I am. I am longing greatly for a week of lazy beach time.

I swear I will torture all Bill's for the rest of my life if this Hurricane steps one little intrusive swirly cloud into my vacation. Let's all aim our high powered fans toward the East Coast in order to veer Bill from his currently predicted destination, OK? OK.

I'm a bit of a fan

I've discovered the show "Bones" and I am loving it. It's in repeats on TNT and my lovely little DVR tapes all of the shows for me. Then I spend a lovely evening watching them. I play with Tally in bits and pieces because she doesn't like it when I pay obsessed attention to anything other than her. Tonight I've worn her out playing and she's passed out cold on the entry rug. It's a little orange rug and she really likes it.

Have you ever seen the show "Castle"? It stars Nathan Fillion. It's a great show. A lot like "Bones". Funny and interesting and well there's the lovely Nathan Fillion eye candy. My god is he the most gorgeous man. Funny and adorable and Canadian! I do believe that if he and I met it would be love at first sight. :)

And do you know what I'm also a fan of? Jelly Belly Sours. Almost as much as Nathan Fillion.

What now?

Vacation hotel has confirmed. So that's set. Now I still need the two nights in Norfolk on each end but I'll probably get that done this weekend. I think I've picked the place so it's just a matter of gettin' er done. So I suppose that means I've got myself a vacation. Right at the moment it doesn't seem real. I can't quite put my head around the fact that I'm going to go on vacation and by myself for that matter.

I'm not sure how it will be. If over the course of the week I'll get sick of myself. Get too stuck in my head and not be able to get out. I don't want a solitary vacation. I do want to interact with other people. I'm not sure how I'll do that while in a place I don't know. The logistics of a solo vacation are alluding me. But then again perhaps I'm over thinking it. Got a few more weeks to figure it all out.

The work week is going agonizingly slowly. Boss guy is on vacation for two weeks starting next week and I'm sort of looking forward to it. Without him there I actually get to do my old job again but I'm so unmotivated that I could care less. I just don't care about what's going on there. *sigh*

I'm lacking things to say. Wishing I had more to say. Today on the bus I couldn't read my book. Couldn't focus on it. Hate it when my brain can't put itself together well enough. Train of thought not following.

So that'll be all for now. Later skaters.

Those little annoyances

Shauna at Pickles & Dimes brought up some of the irrational things that annoy her and I realized that I have a LOT to say on that topic right at this moment. Rather than fill up her comments section I thought I'd write them down. Hang on here we go.

1) When someone on the bus talks on their cell phone or to their bus friend as if the rest of us aren't all stuck there having to listen to their conversation. 'Cause really all I wanted to do on the ride home was listen to you. Nope, didn't want to read my book in peace at all.

2) When people don't pay attention to the situation around them. Like when a long line has formed in the left turn lane and there is someone with ten thousand car lengths between them and the car in front of them and it would completely change the flow (or non-flow) of traffic if that one person would just move their car forward. Or in the grocery store when they just stand there in the middle of the aisle contemplating the rice cake selections when I need to get by. Or they stand in the middle of the escalator when a group of people have piled up behind them. Perhaps this is really several items in one?

3) Working lunches. The only time I have to get away from you people and now I have to eat lunch with you. Similarly when you have to come in early for a meeting. Please, as if my sleep isn't precious or anything.

4) When a book is assigned reading for work. Um, seriously? I have enough to do while I'm at work do you really think I want to read about work when I'm not here? That's a big old NOPE!

5) When someone is congested and is constantly snorting their snot as if we aren't all sitting here having to listen to their phlegm parade.

6) When people won't take no for an answer and keep pushing for you to try food. No really just try it. NO I DON'T WANT TO!!!!! I'LL EAT WHAT I WANT!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!

7) When my hair just won't do what I want it to.

8) When my pants are too tight.

9) When I can't find a single solitary object of clothing that I want to buy even when I have a gift card to spend.

10) And last but not least, people who drop their cigarette butts every where and anywhere because the world is their garbage can OF COURSE!

Patience I do not have

I really have no patience. I don't like waiting. For anything. Probably part of the reason I don't like to cook is that you have to wait for the food to be done. Annoying.

My patience is being put to the test right now. Met someone new on Sunday morning that I'm very interested in seeing again. He said he'd call. He hasn't yet. He mentioned that he had a vendor in town on Monday and dinner with them Monday night so it's safe to assume that's why I didn't hear from him last night. The thought of waiting to see if he might call tonight is about to kill me. I truly might keel over dead right now as I type this.

What would you do? Should I wait to see if he calls tonight? Should I jump first and email him? Or what? Help I do not know what to do!

Man am I bad at being single and dating.

Nothing titular comes to mind

Tally is at the vet all day again. Dropped her off at 8 this morning. She finished the antibiotics on Friday morning and then Saturday morning she was bleeding again. I called the vet and the next step is to sedate her and send a scope up her nether regions. So there she is and here I am trying to concentrate on my job but failing miserably.

All I'm doing is thinking about. Thinking about the possible scenarios. Of course none of them good in my fatalistic mind. I'm so distracted. Unable to form coherent thought. Cannot possibly analyze the current state of the task lists and prioritize or forecast.

Had an awful intestinal bout last night. Still suffering today. Probably shouldn't have just eaten that caramel apple with peanuts but damn did it taste good and I really needed something.

Just want to leave and walk Tally in the sunshine. That's all my brain and intestines can handle today. It's only 2. I wonder when they'll call me to let me know what's going on. I don't like waiting. Not knowing. Worrying. I'm tired. Should have had some caffeine today I suppose.

I have this spot on the side of the pointer finger on my right hand. It's really dry and rough and almost like a callous. Seems like it should be from where a writing implement rubs or something but that's not where I hold a pen/pencil/marker/crayon.

The backs of my knees, my kneepit I guess, gets itchy a lot. Did you know that it's nearly impossible to see my kneepits? I just can't seem to see them no matter how I stretch or flex.

Saturday night I got a parking ticket. I've never gotten a parking ticket, well except for that time in high school when I was actually 'parking' in the minivan and the cops flashlight only flashed the front seats. $44 for parking in a Zone Parking Only area. Grrrrr.

Still tired. Perhaps caffeine is in order. I shall go check out our stock of free pop and such all the while wishing for my cell to ring and have the vet tell me that all is well with my little bear dog.

I hate the grocery store

I don't like going grocery shopping. I put it off all of the time. I'm at the point right now where my fridge consists of condiments, a couple of tortillas, and a nearly empty bag of shredded cheese. That's worse than many bachelors I know.

Food is my enemy. I don't like to cook just for myself. I don't like to spend time at the grocery store just to by food for myself. I do not like it at all.

I had thought about starting to use Amazon Fresh. They deliver to my neighborhood. It would save me the dreaded trip to the store. But then the layoffs happened at work and I got scared. Scared of spending a bit of additional money on food when I should be scrimping every single cent I possibly can because my god have you noticed the economy is in the crapper and people are losing their jobs all around you?

But I still hate the grocery store and wish I could make food magically appear in my house through little to no work on my part. Certainly that could happen with Amazon Fresh or ordering pizza or Chinese every night. That's not logical and neither is my detest of the grocery store but that doesn't mean I'm not sitting here right now dreading the fact that I need to go to that evil place tonight. Evil hated awful place.

The dates of 08 (and end of 07)

For the past week or so I've been chronicling the dates I've been on over the past year or so in my head. It's quite a long list and I thought that it would be better to put it into written form here rather than waste all of that precious brain space.

So here goes:
December 20th, 2007
Date 1 & 2 - Guy from Speed Dating Event #1. Date One was at the Seattle Art Museum. He was a half an hour or so late. Date Two was dinner at Mama's Mexican Kitchen and then walk around Belltown. Ending up Speed Dating him at the next event even though I had gone through all of the trouble of saying no thank you already. Ugh.

Date 3 - Another guy from Speed Dating Event #1. Tried to go bowling but it was league night. Went to drinks/apps in Ballard instead. Never heard from him again.

Date 4 - Guy from match.com. I just went through my old sent emails to find him. Would never have remembered. Met @ Peet's in Fremont. Barely any recollection of him at all. Yikes.

Date 5 - Guy from Speed Dating Even #2. Met him for dinner @ The Garage. He then emailed and said that he wasn't up for dating right now.

Date 6 & 7 - Another guy from Speed Dating Event #2. Met for coffee on first date and went to the Frye Art Museum for second date. Then I totally flaked and cancelled on him for our scheduled third date because I just could not bring myself to go. We were supposed to go see a band a the Showbox.

Date 8 - Friend of Mel's friend (I think). Walked around Green Lake on a dreadfully rainy day. I had just gotten Tally and was very preoccupied with her on the walk. I emailed him and he said that he'd like to be friends but there wasn't a spark. I said I have enough friends.

Date 9 - Guy from match.com. Met at Duke's @ Green Lake. He was a half an hour late. He was a teacher I think. He was really interested in telling me how smart he was. I never contacted him again.

Date 10 & 11 - Went geocaching twice with a friend who wanted to see if we could be more.

Date 12 - Heather's standmate from Orchestra. We met in Kirkland for tea and a walk along the water front. I emailed him and he replied with a LONG email and said there wasn't a spark. I didn't email him back.

Date 13 & 14 - Teacher from Mel's school. First date was dinner @ a tiny little Italian place and then a walk around Ravenna Park. Second date was high school soccer game and a Thai restaurant by his apartment. Third date was scheduled but then it just felt like we had no reason to go out again. Told him so and he agreed.

Date 15 - A guy from match.com. We met for drinks at the 74th Street Ale House. He is not what I was expecting. He emailed a few times. Last time was just today telling me that I should have at least responded to his emails. Just couldn't think of what to say to him so I didn't email anything. Oh well.

So there you have it. 15 dates in 11 months. Seemed like a lot but now that I put it out there in written form it doesn't. Strange.

She's brilliant!

After reading my last post Amy sent me an email with a brilliant idea. She said that when she feels similarly she makes a list of the things that she can feel grateful for in her life. So in honor of her brilliance I am going to give it a try.

I am grateful:

• For my friends, like Amy, who really truly care for and about me.
• Tally, who always has a wagging tail to greet my arrival.
• For my new car and its seat warmers.
• That I have money in the bank and a zero balance on my credit card.
• That I am listening to my iPod right now.
• That we will have a Democrat in the White House again.
• That because of facebook I've gotten back in touch with a few people that I have really missed having in my life.
• For the raisins I'm currently snacking on.
• For Burt's Bees Honey Lip Balm.
• That I can read on the bus.
• For my morning cup of Chai.
• That I live in Seattle.

I started writing this nearly an hour ago and can't think of anything else right now. Perhaps I'll have some inspriation later and can add on to it then. Thanks again Amy!

Less and More

After a lengthy personal discussion I've decided to stop taking one of my medications. Since I still have allergies I'm still taking that pill. Since I still seem to need my happy pills I'm still taking that pill. But it's that little pill mostly referred to as "The Pill" that I decided to remove from my daily repertoire.

For the past several (many) months I've been feeling like the pill was letting me down. I've been on the same version for about 3 years perhaps longer. I was going to talk to my Dr about switching to another type and then on Carol's suggestion thought maybe I should try going off it entirely. Since it's main duty does not need to be fulfilled at this point in time it seemed like a good idea to try.

I'm on day three of no pill. So far I don't think I've noticed any change. Not sure when I should.

And on the more category, I've joined facebook. Such a crazy place! I joined on Thursday of last week and already have 75 friends. No idea if this is a lot but it sure seems like it. Many, in fact most of them are people I knew in high school. Some people I've known since Elementary school. It's a bit surreal to see what all of these people are doing now and get updates on them. Perhaps it will calm down a bit after a few more weeks and I'll settle in to it. But for now I'm finding it an odd odd place.

My own internal buzz

Shall I just pick up where I left off? I would but I'm not entirely sure where I left off here. I've been gone for a while and so rather than try to figure it out I'll just start spilling some things and see what sticks.

On Labor Day weekend I bought a whole big lot of fun stuff. Started with a Roomba on Saturday. Oh Roomba how I love thee and your dirt sucking nature. Then there was the Wii on Sunday. Oh Wii and Lego Star Wars how I adore thee and your time sucking nature. And then there was the Volkswagen Tiguan on Monday. Oh Tiguan how I worship thee and your... well... nothing sucks about you oh Tiguan of my dreams.

Since then the majority of September has slipped by and I have hardly noticed its passing (blame it on the Wii). How did it get to be the first day of fall 2008? I mean wasn't Y2K just yesterday?

I did get a few things done around the house. Nothing earth shattering like taking down walls, that would be so fall 2007. This time it was those tiny little things that sit undone and mock you in their undone-ness every time you pass them. Edging the front planting beds with the leftover patio pavers being one. And the partial weeding of the "backyard" being another.

Nothing new on the foot or should I say toe front. I'm thinking of getting a second opinion but am going to wait until after I start on the insurance plan at new workplace which is October 1st. My shingle outbreak started to itch yesterday for no reason at all that I can determine when it hasn't bothered me in quite a while. Today I feel as though I forgot to take my meds but I'm nearly certain I did. The "forgot my meds" feeling is one of a nearly panic attack like jittery going to bust out of my skin at any moment type of thing. Perhaps this is why I'm actually taking the time to write. That and Amy said I should. (Hi Amy!)

At this very moment Tally could be at home filling it with poo. She has never gone two walks in a row without a numero 2 except last night and then this morning. It makes me nervous. Perhaps my attempt at getting her poo to a better consistency..... Wait am I oversharing about my dogs poo? Feel free to skip this paragraph if you'd rather not have all of these details. See she has this issue with her anal glands filling up and then needing to be squeezed or un-filled. You know that they need to be attended to because she starts dragging her little behind on everything and anything. Molly's legs not included, she just licks those. Anyway I digress. I've had to bring her in twice so far for anal gland attention and in order to try to alleviate that I was told to add some fiber to her diet. Benefiber was my fiber additive of choice. So far she loves it when I add the Benefiber and licks her bowl clean afterwards but there had been no change in her habits and output. And then last night and this morning there was no output. Nervous. It makes me nervous.

Enough of that what else?? Oh I should be focusing on dating. Should be but am having a very tough time actually putting it into practice. The thought of dating makes me more nervous than Tally's bowels. I wish I wasn't single. I'd rather not be single. But the thought of doing anything at all about that situation brings me to tears (Right, Girls?). So is that why I feel like I forgot my meds today? It's just a physical reaction to my mental struggle with the world of dating? If you have an answer for that I will pay you much hard earned cash monies.

So I believe you may have had quite enough from this insane person today so I shall sign off for now. Hopefully I shall return sooner rather than later.

Ugh, I am falling apart

I now have a diagnosis of my foot pain. I saw a podiatrist this morning and I have developed (am developing) osteoarthritis in my big toe(s). It is more pronounced in my right foot but also a bit in my left as well. I'm a bit on the bummed side about this because well it's a bummer. I have a bone scan scheduled for Friday to get some more information about my feet and a follow up appointment with the podiatrist for Monday to go over the scan results. So anyway at least there's a bit of information about that. More as I know it.

And here's the other reason I'm falling apart. I was diagnosed on Monday with Shingles and not the ones you put on the roof of your house. Anyone who's had chicken pox can get shingles because they are caused by the same virus but still. You know it's not your week when one day you find out you have one disease and then to discover a day later that you have another.

So there's that. I'll say it again, Ugh.

Shop like a shopper

The high temperatures this week have been progressively climbing up the thermometer. Today's high is said to be near 90 and tomorrow as well.

So when getting ready for work today I wanted to wear an outfit that would be acceptable for the air-conditioned office and the non-air conditioned bus ride home. I decided on these really comfy chocolate brown capri's I bought last year at Lucy. But alas and alack I do not own the proper foot ware to accompany said comfy chocolate brown capri's. I made do with another pair of shoes but spent my morning in an unhappy foot ware state of mind. Then came lunch. On a whim, I walked the two blocks to the bus stop that would take me to where the shopping lives. It's only about 8 blocks and I've walked it before but today I was on a mission and didn't have the time to waste.

I hopped on the #3 bus and got off outside the downtown Macy's. Quick round through their shoe department turned up no good options. So back outside to head over to Nordstrom. A fly by of their shoe department yielded the perfect adorable chocolate brown Reef's. And yes I know that given my current foot pain I should not be wearing flip flops. 90 degrees people! Feet cannot be forced into shoes when it is 90 degrees outside. It just cannot be done.

Flip flops purchased, two blocks back to the bus, 8 blocks on the bus back to work. There and back with shoes purchased in a half an hour. Awesome. I even had a bit of money on a Nordstrom gift card that needed using. So all in all I'd say I made out like a thief.

Now here I sit in a Friday lull at work. People are on vacation, people are leaving early, and I am posting on this here blog. Hopefully Tally is enjoying her day and the house hasn't become a sweltering oven of 90 degree heat. Hope everyone has fantastic weekend plans ahead of them. Mine still involve dealing with the den. Perhaps some day I will have wonderful AFTER pictures to show you. I certainly hope so.

Feet and other feelings

Today at lunch I walked the two blocks to the nearest drug store in search of the heel cup shoe inserts the Dr told me to get. No where on the wall of shoe inserts was a heel cup shoe insert that wasn't made of a ultra thick layer of super squishy silicone. Not quite what I wanted and I don't think it is what my Dr described to me either. So I decided, after much hemming and hawing, to purchase the Dr Scholl's tri-comfort orthotics. The package says they are "clinically proven pain relief for Heel, Arch, Ball-of-Foot, and Lower Back." So far I'm not sold. Or should I say soled. Ha Ha Ha. Next up on Project Footpain, the find yourself a podiatrist challenge.

And in the other feelings category I had a very strong reaction this morning to this post over at Pioneer Woman. For a very long couple of moments I felt an intense longing to have a baby. Now this is not necessarily a "new" thing for me. I've always known that I'd like to have kids but this was different. More intense and much more of a physical response then I have ever experienced before. Is this what people say when they hear their biological clock? It probably doesn't help that someone I've known since 5th grade also had her first baby this week.

So I have babies on the brain and no outlet for it. Perhaps I should try to find a date or ten so that it feels like I'm making head way in the whole life-partner portion of the have a baby dream. Now where did I put that match.com UserID and Password information?

The saga of the feet

So here's the much requested answer to what the Dr thinks is wrong with my foot... He doesn't know for sure. He wasn't completely without ideas. He instructed me to only wear my running shoes, not to walk around barefoot except in the shower and ice my foot every night. Then if in 5 days or so it's not getting better then I'm to go back and get an x-ray. So far it is not feeling better even after being really lazy and mostly off my feet this weekend. Which makes me think that I'm on my way to that x-ray. I also think I should try to find myself a podiatrist because I think that my feet hurt more often then they should. More often then most people's feet do. How often would you say your feet bother you?

Lightening poll.
Please comment and let me know in the course of a given week how often your feet bother you. I'd really like to know if I'm an oddity or more of a norm. Thank you!!

My day began this way

This morning I missed my bus. It's the second time I've done that since I started taking the bus to my new job. The first time it was really my fault because I pushed leaving the house too far just to see how far I could push it. This time it was only partially my fault. I left the house on time but my stupid foot kept me from walking quickly enough to get there on time. So I sat on the bench and waited for 20 minutes until the next bus.

The weather was practically perfect this morning and inspired me to try out the camera on the crackberry new workplace gave me. This was my view while I waited for the next bus.


Then there was the issue with my cup from Starbucks. There were two or three tiny holes in my cup that only started to leak as I rode the escalator up. So I had to walk all the way around to the down escalator to get a new cup. The barista even double cupped the new one but both of those cups also had holes in them which, since I'm apparently slow, I didn't actually notice until it started to leak all over my keyboard and desk.

Here's hoping that these are the only two set backs of my day. How's your Friday going so far?

Oh and about my stupid foot, I've got a Dr's appointment this afternoon. So there's that.

Brain lacking, thought difficult

I realized about an hour ago that I didn't have any caffeine this morning and that's why I have no brain cells currently in firing position. I'm blaming it on that because the other option is that I shouldn't eat Thai food for lunch and well, that is just not possible. So caffeine deficiency it is. So this afternoon I have been a blob of unproduction. Is unproduction a word? Spellcheck says no. Oh well.

Sundry's post today was exactly what I think all of the time. Those blog posts that I write in my head while walking Tally or eating dinner or riding the bus are always so eloquent and thought provoking. The pictures I would take if only I had my camera with me are always wonderful snippets of my life. But do you see any of those things here? Big old nope.

Of late all I have bored you (and myself) with are the ins and outs of the J-O-B. Well if that isn't enough to put you straight to sleep I don't know what is. Oh new idea. Write the most inane blog posts ever and market this space as a sleep aid. There might be money in that. You never know.

So for now I shall blame the caffeine or lack there of. And tomorrow perhaps I shall blame my new haircut. Always place blame squarely somewhere else. That's my motto.

Happy Tuesday!