Tough morning

This morning on our walk Tally and I had an encounter with a couple and their THREE Pitbulls. I've seen this couple before and I do not like them at all. They are, if you will excuse the phrase, white trash.

At first they only had one Pitbull, and then a second, and now today a third. I had this feeling when we were talking toward them on the sidewalk that I should cross to the other side of the street. But I didn't want to be mean. Oh how I wish I would have listened to that feeling.

As we were walking toward them Tally pulled in behind me, as though she was trying to hide behind me. The two full grown pits (the new one is a puppy) were being walked by the female of the couple and she could not hold them back. They lunged at Tally and she was bit a few times. It all happened so fast. I was really shaken up and tried to calm down enough to get their contact information. This is why I ALWAYS walk with my cell phone in my pocket. I took her name and phone number. They apologized a few times and said the classic line "He's never done that before" and I just said "Fine" and walked straight back home.

Once in the door I started crying. Tally was shaking and nervous. I checked her out as best I could and called our Vet. They fit us in an hour and a half later. Before leaving for the vet I tried calling the owner of the other dog and told her that I wanted the dogs name, her last name, and their Vet's information to verify that the dog was current on its shots. She said that they don't have a vet and that she has the paperwork showing a valid 4 year rabies vaccination. Then she went started yelling at me and saying that her dog got bit too and was bleeding and calling me a "fucking bitch" and saying that she wanted proof of my dogs vaccinations too and then hung up on me.

I hate some dog owners. I feel so badly for breeds like Pitbulls and Rottweilers because they get such a bad chance at getting a genuinely good owner. These people are exactly the type of people who should absolutely NOT own even one Pitbull let alone THREE!! I fear that it is all going to end very badly for those three dogs.

Tally appears to be mostly OK. Her Vet and I were able to find a couple of fairly superficial scratches that had bled a bit. She got a shot of antibiotics there and is now on antibiotics for a week and also some anti-inflammatories. Right now she is sleeping soundly and I'm still fuming.

From now on I will trust my inner voice when it's telling me to cross the street.

p.s. The label for this post "Dog Bit" now has an entirely different meaning.

Let's try it again

After reading "Pickles & Dimes" comment on my last post I decided to take Tally with me again on my run. She used the word "condition" and it made me realize that I really wanted to run with Tally so I just needed to get us both in the condition to handle it. Perhaps it's that the second time is the charm, but this time went better for us both. Perhaps this time we both knew what to expect so it was easier. I took the runs a bit slower than I might have but that was OK by me. It made the whole experience better to have her beside, well actually a bit behind, me.

Today's run was Number 3 of week 2. It will be the last time I run in WA for a while since I'm heading out to TX and MN tomorrow. Won't be back home until Monday the 23rd. Running in the heat of Texas and the mind melting humidity of MN is going to present a new challenge. I'll be running as early in the morning in TX as possible in order to avoid the 100+ temps they have been having recently. The trip also means that Tally won't be running with me for a while since she will be having her own vacation at my mom's house. Hopefully we will be able to get right back into it when I return.

The other thing that made it easier to run with Tally today is that she got a final clean bill of health from the cancer vet on August 3rd. The first time I ran with her I had this nagging thought that there might be something wrong. That she might be sick and I just didn't know it. I'm sure I'll still always stress a bit that she might have another health set back but for now that thought is a bit less nagging. She's fine. We're both fine. And we just might be getting better every day.

Off to pack for my trip. Oh look and the sun is coming out too. I think today is going to be a really great day.

Enough with the tears already

I have been an emotional nut job lately. To the ten thousandth degree this is actually an understatement. I weep at TV shows. But have you seen "Th Choir" on BBC America? Tear fest! Or the slot car episode of "James May's Toy Stories" also on BBC America? Weep weep weep. Then there's Tally needing my nearly constant attention causing me to sob as well.

It doesn't help that I'm stuck in the house most all of the time. See when you go out places you spend money and when there is no money coming in that is a bad bad thing. So at home I stay with an adorable, yet ultra needy dog, at my side. With the computer in front of me or a text book on my lap or napping on the couch or watching TV and weeping.

It's nice to have been depressed and come through on the other side if only now it means that you can see these times for what they are, set backs that you can get through. I know that I won't always feel this way but damn does it make it hard to want to keep on going some days.

I've made good head way in the real estate classes but there is definitely a lot more to do. I won't be done by the end of the month and a lot of that is because my mood has gotten in my way. It's kept me away from the online class or the text book when I really should have been there. It's frustrating and the voice in my head that is telling me I'm doing the wrong thing and that I will most certainly fail is sometimes very difficult to shut up.

It also hasn't helped that my dad has had a big professional set back this month and my empathy level is at a peak where he is concerned. Talking to him the other day made my sad state even lower which is never good. Thankfully Molly came over to borrow something and I got to spill my tears all over the place with another human being rather than on my couch alone with Tally and BBC America.

So today is better, must be or I wouldn't be here writing about it. Took Tally on a long walk this morning and then took myself for a roller blade around Green Lake. Let me tell you that made it abundantly clear to me that I am out of shape in a big way. I could only go around once and it was hardly 3 miles! Oh well I've only been one other time so far this summer so I shall give myself a pass on that. At least I went. I was out there. Big yahoo for that.

So right now I have a dog giving me her sad little eyes wanting to go for our evening walk. I even had to feed her dinner early in order to distract her so that I could sit here and write this entry. This won't always be my reality. I will finish my real estate course and I will pass the exam and I will find a job. It's what I want so that's what will happen. Power of positive thinking hard at work here and I'm working at believing it. And enough with the tears already!

Back again; 2010 book reading begins

Went away again didn't I? Not even sure what I wrote here last. So let's just start again, shall we?

Had a pretty good holiday. Dad came to visit for Thanksgiving. We painted my bedroom ceiling and walls. Took a while for me to get used to the wall color. It's an apple green. Still trying to find a duvet cover that works with the wall color and the new drapes I chose. The drapes are a dark gray. Also need to get myself an actual dresser. Haven't found anything that I like quite yet. Christmas was good too. I was a PMS crazed lunatic right before New Year's so I was asleep by 10:30. Oh well to that one.

Tally's doing really well. Still a sweetie and staying healthy. Yeah!

On January 3rd I hit Half Price Books and walked away with 9 books for less than $40. Made me so stupidly happy to have that many books waiting to be read next to my bed. Just finished the first one of the pile on the bus ride home tonight. It was The Beekeeper's Apprentice by Laurie R. King. It is the first of a series and I'm looking forward to reading the next ones. The story involves a young woman and her friendship and partnership with Sherlock Holmes. Really well done and worth reading. I'm glad that Peter suggested it. And that I finally found it at HPB.

Not sure which book I'll start next. I'll have to see what interests me on the pile before bed tonight. I shall try to keep up and not stay away so long again.

Where'd she go?

It happened again. I stopped writing here. Can't figure out why but it did. It does.

Don't have a ton to say so I'll just start by telling you what's been going on.

Boss was gone for the last two weeks of July and it was fantastic. Loved it. Got to make the decisions about what people where doing almost as if I was actually fulfilling my job description! Also had a few meetings with Big boss (my boss's father) about how things were going with boss and how I should tailor my interactions with him to suit his style because that's what he needs. That's how he works. That's what I should do. Um wait a minute I say. Why is it that my style works well with everyone else in the office and not boss but it's me that has to change? Why is it that boss's style means that no one wants to work with him but we are the ones who have to change? Don't think so big boss. Things need to change and it isn't me that's the issue. He says he's going to make things happen. Little boss has been back a week and so far nothing's changed. Wait and see.

Got all of my plans for my vacation set. Flight, hotels and car. All ready to go. Now I just have to wait two more weeks and it will be vacation city for this gal. Tally's going to stay with my mom for the week.

Speaking of Tally she's been doing great. She's loving our longer summer walks and so am I. She's been shedding like crazy! The heat last week of July really killed her energy level and turned her into a shedding machine. I can't keep up with all of the hair. No matter how often I clean. This week her energy has been getting back to normal. She's playing a ton and seems really happy.

This past week a contractor has been tearing out the common wall between the bedrooms from Molly's side. So poor Molly has been having to live sleeping in her living room all week. Can you even imagine? Going from a small place (650 sq ft) and not having the use of an entire room for a week!!! Ugh. He took out the existing drywall and lame insulation replaced it with quiet batt insulation, homasote sound barrier board and will drywall over it all tomorrow. He's also been building out her closet in the plan I came up with. Then while I'm vacation he's going to build out my closet. I'm very lucky to not have to live through the construction like Molly has had to.

Well that's all I can think of for now. Perhaps I'll be back again soon.

Time marches slowly for those keeping track

Things have been slow at work. SLOW. I've spent most of today researching things to do on my vacation and creating a My Maps in Google maps marking all of the necessary spots. You know like the location of the nearest Starbucks. Just kidding there aren't any Starbucks where I'm going. Strange but true.

So far I've booked my hotel (I think, but they haven't confirmed yet!), my flight and the rental car. I've got to get a night at a hotel closest to the airport for the first night and last night. My flight doesn't land until about 7PM and I don't want to drive 130+ miles right after flying across country. The night I land I'll pick up the car stay near the airport and then head out the next morning. Same thing on the way back but in reverse. I'm really excited and wish it wasn't more than 6 weeks away. Summers always go by quickly so I'm sure it will be here before I know it.

Speaking of strange office chairs, this afternoon I've been sitting on one of those exercise ball thingys in a chair base. Hoping to improve my overall body shape before having to don a swimsuit for an entire week. GAH!!

Since you mentioned it, I've had two friends have babies in the last two days. Both are named Jessica W and both delivered at the same hospital. One delivered a little boy EARLY yesterday morning and the other a little girl early this morning. Babies babies all around. My co-workers wife who has been on hospital bed rest for the past few months is set to deliver in a week and a half. Babies babies babies everywhere.

And while I am being pretending sequitur but actually non sequitur girl I might as well tell you that Tally is doing really well. Shedding like the dickens, but really doing great. We had a milestone moment the other evening during bath time. I've learned over time that it's easier to get into the bath tub with her (in my swimsuit sitting on a little stool) than to reach into the tub on my knees. She doesn't really like baths and tries to bury her head as far as she can into my lap and away from the water. On Tuesday for the first time ever I was able to coax her into the bath tub all on her own! I didn't have to pick her up and place her in. It was GREAT! Perhaps some day she'll get comfortable enough with the water that I can wash her head. But I'm not banking on that. I'll take this small victory.

A half an hour left of my work day. How shall I waste it? What are your favorite ways to waste time at work? Do tell!

Since I've been gone & Tally's FINAL CHEMO

So much has happened since my last post. Was it really a week and a half ago? Time has flown by.

First off grandpa is still hanging on. He's such a trooper. He started talking a bit on Friday, the 19th and talked to us all day long on Saturday. Most of it was not in the current time period but oh well. He started the day in the near time frame only going back about 25 or 30 years and thinking that he had to get to the firehouse for work. Then at one point he thought he was on the USS Boise which is where he spent all of his time in WWII. Then at the end of the day he was a slick teenager hitting on me and my cousin. Some quotes were amazingly funny. Like the one where he said to my Uncle's girlfriend that she had tied him up really well last night and that he was glad there weren't any fires. We all nearly peed ourselves laughing. Saturday was his best day. Sunday when we got to the hospital he was really agitated and asked for ice water and said yes to the question about pain medication. Little did we know that the ice water request would be the last intelligible words we would get from him. After getting his pain medicine he was out for the day. Everyone else left on Sunday and dad went to work on Monday so I went to the hospital by myself. I was not prepared for what I was about to witness.

I just happened to arrive at the same time his orthopedic surgeon did to perform a post-op check. Overnight grandpa had deteriorated and his sugar level had sky rocketed. Apparently the overnight nurse wrote in his chart the the insulin was refused at midnight. Let me tell you that grandpa most certainly was not in any position to refuse any medication. The day nurse and the surgeon went spinning into action saying that they needed to get the primary physician on the phone now and that maybe grandpa needed to go to ICU. It was a really overwhelming way to end my visit with grandpa.

He pulled through that craziness and has since been moved back to the care facility where he's been living for nearly a year. He's in his apartment there with round the clock care. No tubes, or wires or needles. Just grandpa. They have figured out how to manage his discomfort and he seems to be settled in for as long as he can hold out. I'm so glad that he's not in the hospital and around all of that insanity. He's home and peaceful. You can hear the calm in my dad's voice when he talks about grandpa now. Whereas before it was TENSION!!! I'm so glad that I got to see him one last time. It was well worth the emotional turmoil.

Came home late Monday night the 22nd. Britten brought Tally with her to pick me up at the airport. It was SO great to see my little puppy girl again and I was looking forward to a night's sleep in my bed and a calm week. On Tuesday during our evening walk Tally started limping but kept on moving and I didn't think much of it. I gave her paw a thorough once over when we got home and then went off to my hair appointment. When I got home she was limping even more and really freaking me out. I sat right down in the middle of the living room and kept asking her if she was really going to make us run to the ER. Really? Come on Tally. Just for mama can't you shake it off? No. Damn. In the car we went.

The ER Vet shares a space with her Cancer Vet so that made me feel really good. They were all very sweet with her and in the end the Vet thought she must have just sprained her elbow. We left with some anti-inflamatories and orders to rest for a week. Gave her one of the pills when we got home and another in the morning. During our morning walk you would have thought I'd made up Tuesday entirely. She was FINE! Nary a limp or hitch to be seen. So I figured she was just getting back at me for leaving her for the weekend.

Then comes the final Chemo appointment on Friday June 26th. What a great experience that was. The awesome Cancer Vet and I had a great conversation trying to determine the follow-up process and then proceeded to talk about my vacation plans. Then it was time for the actual Chemo treatment. I was up in front paying, as usual, and when Tally was done she did her normal full force run from the back of the office straight to me. This time though she was wearing a little red bandanna with the words "I'm a Cancer Survivor" on it. I nearly started crying. It was just about the most adorable and most inspiring thing that has happened since all of this cancer craziness first started.

Here's a picture of her in all her post-chemo bandanna clad glory!


The next day was my 25th oh wait my 35th birthday! Although with the way I tore it up you may have thought I was turning 25. Started the day by meeting Heather for breakfast at Portage Bay Cafe in South Lake Union. Jess had hoped to join us but she was hit full force with something evil that was causing her to lose all of her insides out both major orifices since 1AM that morning. So needless to say my very pregnant friend thought it best to stay home. Heather and I missed her dearly but forged on as best we could. Since neither of us are preggers we decided to have a bit of the bubbly, so mimosa's it was. Then we went to REI were I got some new sandal's, had a hilarious exchange with the REI shoe department employee and tried on some swimsuits. Wait scratch that last thing. Nope no swimsuits were tried on. Really it was just the shoe department. That's all. (See Heather I told you I wouldn't mention it ever again.)

Then home for a bit for some Tally time and then off to Mani's and Pedi's. This time it was Molly, Ali, Amy and Jessica. There was more champagne, cookies, fruit and a lot of laughs. Back home for Tally's evening constitutional and then on to dinner. Our group grew to 12 at dinner. Amy had made reservations at La Carta de Oxaca and man was it amazing. Margarita's, amazing Mexican food, little puzzles, stickers, and a lot of laughing. For dessert we headed over to Cupcake Royale where the entire store sang "Happy Birthday to me!" I reveled in every moment of my day and enjoyed it ALL!! Thank you to Brooke, Cliff, Brent, Amy (mama), Peter, Dave Peck, James and girlies for so much fun! What a day. Even the hangover on Sunday couldn't diminish my smile.

Sunday was my first book club meeting and that went great too. I had a lot of fun talking about the two books, "The Alienist" and "Judas Child". I felt smart, funny and interesting. Yeah me!

So I have to say if this is 35, I'll take it.

Chemo #5 - Checking in

Friday morning was Tally's 5th Chemo appointment. Overall I'm shocked by how well she does each time. She's always so sweet and happy to see all of the people at the vet office. But I suppose that really shouldn't shock me. She's generally a happy easy going dog.

The side effects are fairly minimal. The list of what could happen is rather long and so far hers are centered around the lethargy and a bit of a stomach issue. This time the stomach hasn't been as big of a deal. But she has been pretty tired. I'm not sure if I'll know what to do with her when this is over and she wants to start playing again. That will be strange.

But really she is doing great and it's almost over. Only one more to go. Can't wait for it to be over. The vet said that she's not sure yet how to monitor her afterwards. So I'm a bit nervous about that. I'm sure it won't be awful but I'm not good with unknowns so I'll be really glad when that's all sorted.

And now for a graceful switch of topics today I did a bunch of stuff around the house, inside and out. Started by waking at 5:20 even with my newly purchased sleep mask. That's frustrating. Stayed up for a bit and then back to sleep for a bit. Up for good at 9. Then a Tally walk and off to Home Depot. Had to buy some plants for a big container on the patio, some mulch, and black spray paint. See I've got these two red and white patio chairs that are looking a bit worse for wear so I decided to spray paint them black. That way they will match the new chair I bought this year. Unfortunately today it was too windy. So when I got home it was all about yard work. Blech. But the pot is now full of color and one of the beds is fully mulched. Also got a bit of weeding done on the patio. Then inside to paint the ceiling in the hallway and do laundry. Full day all around.

Oh and I think today was day 7 of the Active 30 day challenge. After figuring out my earlier issues with the system (the position you hold the remotes in is VERY important) it's turning into a really great workout. I'm feeling better about my body in lots of ways. Huge step forward there. The med taper is still going well. I don't HAVE to nap any more and if I do it's only an hour or so, not 3 or 4.

Spent time today researching vacation options. My mom called yesterday and offered to take Tally for me so I can go somewhere. The best time for her is August so I've been focused on that time frame. I'm having a hard time figuring out where to go and what to do. I haven't ever taken a vacation by myself and I'm not sure what it will be like. Should I take a tour somewhere or just lay low somewhere? Pros and cons of both. Tour means no alone time, right? Lay low means all alone time, right? I like the idea of being active and I like the idea of being lazy. Mountains would be nice and ocean would be nice. Can I somehow have an active, lazy, social, alone, beachy, mountainy vacation? If so, where?

Another graceful topic change; I joined a book club. I found a listing on meetup.com for a book club that seemed like it might be interesting. It meets once a month and for June they chose two books! I've finished the first and read a few pages of the second last night. The first one was The Alienist. Didn't love it. Thought the writing was a bit forced because it was written in first person recollection. Way too many times where he said "but I didn't know it then" or "it didn't occur to me then". Clunky. Hopefully the next will be better. No matter what it adds a social outlet that I need. I've also joined a few other groups too. Haven't gone to any actual meetups yet but I joined the groups. Does that count for anything? My little brain says yep.

I believe that's all for now. See you all later.

Grrrr

I am in a HORRIBLE mood today. Capital H-orrible. It all started on Monday night when doing the EA Active workout my little avatar wasn't recognizing that I'd finished an exercise. That day I also had nagging sinus pain. The workout and some decongestants helped. Then yesterday the sinus pain resumed. The workout kept telling me during my warm up that I was intermittently running too slow even though I wasn't changing my pace. I got pissed off and turned off the game to try to see if there were any suggestions in the manual or on-line about this issue. The web site wouldn't process my registration of the game and just hung there. There's nothing in the manual about a sensitivity issue. So I started the workout again but decreased the intensity level.

It was probably the right thing to do but I would rather have been eating an entire box of cookies or cutting my head off than working out at that point. During one section I got so pissed off at the remote I nearly threw it across the room, but that didn't work because it's attached to my wrist. Grrrrr. So I threw little hissy fits at various points but in the end I finished the routine. By then my head felt worse so I ate dinner, drugged up and read my book.

Oh Tally actually wanted to play a bit last night which is a GREAT sign, but it also made me cranky because that means that she's feeling better just in time to go back for her next chemo.

So I played with Tally a bit, until she tired out and then back to my book. Went to bed early and slept fairly well. Then this morning.

My hair is horrid. My face is breaking out like crazy and I've even been having some back acne. GROSS! I feel huge. I want to SCREAM! And why yes I should be getting my period at any moment why do you ask??!?!?!??!?!?

I'm a hormonally charged - bad hair day having - jeans too tight wearing - basket case today. I'd suggest keeping your distance until the Emily you thought you knew returns. Perhaps tomorrow. But you never know. Best to approach from the side and not engage the monster head on.

You have been warned.

It's time for an update

Tally had Chemo #4 on Friday morning. This one was really easy. I can't believe I just called Chemo easy. But it was a lot less difficult than the first three. I'd say nary a side effect to be seen. WAHOO! She's still being picky about eating her normal food but I've been able to combat that by adding the canned version to her dry. She eats it all up lickey split.

This morning we took our normal walk and weekend Starbucks stop. Tally's usually very compliant when I leave her outside but today she just couldn't stand me leaving her behind. She kept barking and drawing me back out to her. A couple with a pug, wife getting the drinks and husband staying with the dog, offered to watch her while I went in. Tally was still very concerned that I was leaving her even with her new friends keeping her company. We usually get to Starbucks a bit earlier than we did today so there was a lot more activity than normal. I think that's why or at least that's what I'm sticking with. Right now she's passed out tummy side up.

And let's see an Emily update. The med taper is going fairly well. The shaking and jitters seem to have passed. Still having problems thinking of the proper words at times but oh well. My energy level has increased, which is GREAT! I'm able to go an entire weekend without a nap. That in itself is a miracle. I seem to need a lot less sleep overall which again miraculous. I've been tackling tasks around the house and generally able to keep moving. On Tuesday it will have been two weeks on the decreased dose and I'm not sure when I'll stop entirely. Maybe a few more weeks. I'll give it time. Take it slow and easy. For now I'm really happy with how it's going and I'll keep it at that.

Off to get more done around the casa. Perhaps I'll get those under cabinet lights installed. Certainly have to keep going on the den.

Happy weekend to all!

Shaking and fidgety

Last night when I got home from work Tally seemed to be doing OK. We had a pretty good walk. She didn't eat anything except a few treats but she was holding steady. Then as the night wore on she started to get the shakes. It was so sad. She didn't want to lay down in her normal spot on the couch so I let her lay on the other side of me and wrapped her up in a blanket where she stayed comfortably for the rest of the night and on into this morning. It really made me sad to see her like that. I hated having to leave her this morning since she didn't eat her breakfast either.

Then there's me and my meds tapering fidgety self. So far it hasn't been too bad but it is a bit odd. It feels like every so often I lose control of my motor skills and have to fidget and contort. And I feel a bit of an odd tight headache which could also be due to the insane allergy issues I been having but who's to say. The feeling makes it hard to sit still or focus. Especially with one of my co-workers who expects me to automatically have all of the history and back story on tasks without even trying. He just says things and expects me to know the who, where, what, when and why of it and I can't think straight enough to figure it all out.

It's only day two so I'm going to keep on keeping on. Here's hoping it gets better and not worse. Same goes for my little Tally bear. Better not worse. BETTER NOT WORSE!

Chemo #3

This morning was Tally's Chemo #3. She did really well. I stayed home with her for the morning and then went in to work. It was hard to leave her right afterwards like that. I always get so concerned about her.

When I came home she was waiting for me at the door, which is always a great sign. She didn't want to eat any dinner and has been acting fairly uncomfortable all night. I was able to hide one of her anti-nausea pills in a treat and she ate it. Hopefully that will help her be more comfortable. Or at least be able lay down and settle in for more than a few minutes.

Time to put away the computer for the night and give her some attention. As if I haven't been already. :)

No sir not today.

Tally's neutrophil count was 1100 today, which while higher than her low point of 900 was still lower than the 1500 threshold that the Awesome Cancer Vet determines for a suitable treatment level. So no Chemo today. But she did decide that we are only going to do a total of 6 treatments. So far we've got two down. Four left and they will be every other week from here on out.

Her energy level has been fairly decent this week. She's been picky about her food but I can handle that. When we got back from the Vet she was playful and actually ate her normal food with nothing added. I think she gets a vitamin shot after they take her blood so perhaps that accounts for it. Right now she's laying low. Or at least she was until I typed that sentence. She always knows when is the best time to need attention. It's hard to type with one hand.

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Brother just stopped by to give me this month's car payment. Yeah money! 

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Just took Tally out for a quick potty break. Cold and rainy tonight. Now I'm going to make myself some hot chocolate. It's a spicy hot cocoa. Numm Yummy.

On Monday I went to my Dr. to see if she can figure out what's going on with me. I am tired all of the time and sleep a LOT!! I can get a full 8 hours of sleep wake up for a few hours and then nap for another four hours, up for a few hours and then back to that napping thing. Lots and lots of sleep. She asked me a bunch of questions, obviously, and decided on a bunch of blood tests. Haven't heard back from her yet. One of the things that might be causing it is the anti-depressants and I'm kind of hoping it is them. I'd like to stop taking them, finally. I've been on them for more than 7 years and it just seems like time to be done.  Hopefully it will go well. Makes me a bit nervous, the thought of the side-effects that is. Getting off the meds seems right. Not sure why.

And that is all for today class. See you again soon.

Gratuitous Picture/Video Post

A while ago Shauna asked for some more pictures of Tally so I'm going to honor that request. :)

Here's a short video I shot in the park nearly a year ago 5/17/08. She LOVES to run in the dirt of the ball field.

And here's a picture I took the day she had her tumor removed. Such a drugged out sleepy head that day. 2/2/09 **Edit: This was actually after her scope procedure. Not tumor removal.**

And then one about a week later sleeping with her little bee. 2/12/09

A few of her shaved parts from IV's and ultrasounds. 2/26/09 & 3/25/09

In this one I just love her little face. 3/25/09

And this one is from tonight. You can see how much her tummy hair is growing back in. 5/7/09

So there she is. I have to remember to post pictures more often. She's so photogenic!

I drugged my dog

Yesterday morning Tally wouldn't eat and I was feeling crappy myself. After a walk and her trying to eat every blade of grass in sight I decided it was finally time to give her some of the anti-nausea pill. I took one out of the blister pack and used every trick I could think of to get it in her. In the end it was the old pry her mouth open and shove it toward the back of her mouth on that worked. Then we both hit the couch for a nap, after I'd called in sick to work that is. I'd been asleep for about an hour when I woke with a start and realized that I was only supposed to give her half a pill! Half! Holy crap I'd drugged my dog. Frantically I picked up my phone and called the Cancer Vet, of course since by this time it was only 7:15 AM they weren't open yet so I left and message saying what I'd done and that I was going to call the emergency clinic. Emergency Clinic called, fears allayed. Apparently three times the dose is safe. Thank god. Back to sleep we went. Around 10 the Cancer Clinic called to make sure I had gotten the info I needed. I told them that she'd hardly budged in three hours. Snoozing like a big old log. They said that was one of the side-effects. Either that or hyperactivity. Boy am I glad that she chose sleep instead of the other option.

She and I spent the rest of the day snoozing up a storm. But still that night I couldn't get her to eat anything. This morning I took her on a short walk, called in sick again, and dragged myself to the pet food store. Picked up more stinky foods and even stopped at the grocery store for myself.

Home again, pile of stinky food served and eaten! And joy rang out! Tally has had her first meal in a day and a half. Big sigh of relief for doggie mom. Then tonight just as I started to write this post she even tried to play for half a second! Wahoo!!! And she went to her food bowl and ate a few bites of her normal food. Of course now she's conked out again on the couch but still. It's great. I'm thrilled.

So I drugged my dog and she slept for a day and a half (well, so did I) but we are both bouncing back.

This week's chemo was a go

Tally has been a bit off since Saturday. Her appetite is not its usual voracious self. She can't lay still for more than two minutes at a time. She hasn't wanted to play for days. Grass is a MUST eat. Of course I've been terribly worried. I even made Molly come over last night to help me take her temperature. I was convinced that she was feverish and on the verge of death. I had even checked to make sure that the Emergency clinic next to the Cancer vet was open 24 hours.

Of course, she's fine. I'm an insane worry wart and she's fine.

Awesome Cancer Vet was a bit concerned about why Tally's been off the past few days. We talked about it and went over it and thought about it. In the end we decided to go ahead with the plan; blood test and then if that turns out OK chemo. Had to wait longer than the first week. A lot longer.

Now she's trying to sleep on the couch. On her back, legs straight up in the air. After much testing of every other spot imaginable. I hope she's able to sleep for a bit. I certainly hope that she sleeps tonight. Last night was rough. I think she moved around ten thousand times. Woke me up just as many.

Wish me luck that we have a better night tonight.

Chemo #2 a no go

Today was scheduled to be Tally's second chemo appointment. They do a CBC beforehand and then decide if they will do the chemo. Today based on her white count they decided not to. In fact she's now on antibiotics for three days. At this moment she's passed out on the couch.

Hoping that she doesn't get sick and that we can get back on schedule next week. I really do not want this to take longer and keep going on and on. It's all really weighing on me. I'm hanging in there but man am I tired. Tired.

I'd love a vacation. I'd really like to stop having anything to worry about. I'd like everything to be calm and easy. And while I'm at it I would like to win the lottery that I don't play. I'd like to drop 10 pounds without trying. I'd like my hair to quit this frizz thing it's doing. I'd like my house to be in exactly perfect condition. And then there's that whole world peace thing.

Lamb Tripe smells like A**!!!

The short list of side effects of Tally's Chemo include any of the wonderful following items:
1) Vomiting
2) Diarrhea
3) Constipation
4) Fever
5)Lethargy
6) Anorexia

Isn't that a wonderful list? So far, no Vomit! WAHOO! Diarrhea, well this mornings "outing" was a bit off but I'm keeping my fingers crossed against that. Constipation, nope, see previous symptom. Fever, oh god I hope not because I'm really not sure I can handle taking her temperature up her you know what. Lethargy, Check! Poor little punkin is so tired. Anorexia, oh hell yeah. She turns her little nose up at her food as if I've poisoned it. Earlier this week I added some chicken based baby food to her regular dry food and she ate it up!

In a fit of nerves I stopped at the hipster Pet Store last night wanting to get her something that was made for dogs and not babies. I asked one of the sales people what food she would suggest. She said the smellier the better and suggested Tripe. There was a brand of canned dog food that was a few different varieties of tripe. My stomach promptly turned over at the mere mention of it. I talked with her more about it and she offered to give me a can of my choice to try for free. Couldn't pass that up so I took a small can of Lamb Tripe home along with a can of pureed Sweet Potato and pureed Pumpkin.

Her food from that morning was still sitting in her bowl so I added what was left of the baby food and some Sweet Potato and hoped for the best. Baby food, check! Sweet Potato, no way are you kidding me I'd rather lick around the rest of the empty bowl than eat that crap. So the option left for me was the Lamb Tripe. Oh god please don't make me feed her tripe.

I opened the can. IT IS HORRIBLE! My dinner nearly came up as I dug it out of the can and mixed it into her dry food. She loved it. Damn dog. Then this morning my empty stomach nearly rebelled when I reached in to remove the sealed container from the fridge. My stomach is doing flips right now just writing this.

Perhaps #1 on the side effect list had nothing to do with her but was all about me. Oh lord.

Tally Chemo Treatment #1

Tally had her first Chemo treatment yesterday. I took the afternoon off of work to take her. She of course was her usual uber excited self when getting in the car at home and getting out at the clinic. She was really happy and sweet when meeting the new vet tech. And happy to see Awesome Cancer Vet again. Then came time to actually take her back into the room where they give the Chemo. She didn't want to go with them. She practically attached herself to my legs so I had to walk with her into the room and then leave her with them. They don't allow owners to be back there because they don't want us exposed to anything. Heart wrenching to leave her behind straining on the leash to be with me.

I retreated out to the waiting room nearly in tears and was pacing back and forth. I tried to occupy myself by reading the paper but that didn't work. I paid the bill for that day's treatment and then paced some more. I can't even begin to tell you how long it took because it seemed like forever but then she finally came bounding out of the room down the hall and straight to me. My god do I love that dog.

We then went home and had a pretty typical evening together. Sat out in the sun on the patio with Molly for a bit then off for a nap on the couch. She was fine eating her dinner and I thought we would get through that night without issue. Then around 10:30 when I was just about to get ready for bed she started to dry heave. Ugh. It was only a few times but I decided that was enough of a warning so I covered the living room rug (the only rug in the entire house) with towels. I then tried to sleep on the couch with her. Around 12:30 she wanted to go out to pee so we did that. Then she calmed down easily and so I took a chance and went into my bed. I left my door open so that I would have quick access to the living room just in case. Luckily no puking last night.

This morning she was very tentative about eating her food. She ate about a third of it and then left the rest until after our walk. Any time she doesn't devour her food I just know that something isn't right. On our walk she REALLY wanted to eat grass. I let her eat a bit hoping that it would help soothe her tum. The vet gave me some medication to give her if she has problems with things coming and going from either end.

I'm very nervous about how she's doing. I'm going to leave work a little bit early today. What I really wish is that I was home with her right now. My mind won't stop wondering how she's feeling and coping. Her next appointment is Tuesday the 28th and I'm going to take that entire day off. They didn't have an appointment time available that was late enough to make working a partial day possible so a full day off it is!

Can't wait to get home and take care of her.

And the diagnosis is...

Canine Transmissible Venereal Tumor. The Awesome Cancer Vet called on Friday afternoon with the details. The prognosis is good with a 90 to 95% cure rate! Such a load off my mind. First Chemo treatment is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. Now that I don't have to worry about what it is she has I'm worrying about what the Chemo is going to do. Aren't I just a bundle of laughs?

It was a really good weekend and I think it was mostly due to the fact that I felt like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Now I know what kind of cancer it is. Now I know what we are going to do to treat it. Now I know how she got it. Now I know. Yes, there are things I don't know and those things are still stressing me out but I'll get through it.

My weekend started out with a great walk around Green Lake with Tally. Then a call from Amy asking why I wasn't where they were. To which I replied "I didn't know you were anywhere." She then told me where and off I went. We had a great time thinking of puns on Tally and her sexually transmitted cancer. Tally Ho is now very appropriate. As the night wore on I realized that the reason I was there was because of the other single guy who joined the group shortly after I did. Didn't really get to talk to him much because it was a large group. But Britten was inviting us all for a BBQ on Sunday so I figured I'd get to talk to him there anyway. Then Saturday was some weeding and a friends birthday party. Brought Tally with me and had a great time. Talked with Britten for a bit about Mitch and told her I knew that's what they had in mind. She said she hadn't told him either so no worries. Got home around 10 and Matt came over for a bit. Could not fall asleep for the life of me. Finally conked out around 1 I think. Then woke up at 6 on Sunday. That day was a dog park outing with Jean & Jet and then the BBQ at BnB's. Mitch had brought his foster dog and of course I brought Tally but unfortunately they didn't get along very well. Lucy an adorable pit bull was not at all happy with Tally so I wasn't able to talk to Mitch any more that night than Friday night. Brought my brother with me and he had a great time. He'd never met any of them and loved it all. He's also got a man crush on Duncan which I easily predicted before hand.

Such a lovely social weekend. I enjoyed every minute of it and totally wore Tally out. Not sure if it was all of the activity or something else entirely but she threw up on Sunday late morning. Of course that has me worried. As always she laid low as I left for work this morning in her usual protest. Boss says I can leave early today so I'm going to head out of here in a few minutes and fully soak up the sun that is SHINING out there!

Oh and I also got Mitch's email from Britten and sent him an email asking him out. See what happens there.