Oh and about the meds

Just before Thanksgiving I decided to stop taking the anti-depressants entirely. No more half dose for me. The timing of it was fairly odd because it was right before the holidays which is of course a notoriously stressful time for most people. And having Thanksgiving with both of my parents for the first time in 15 years I should have been upping my dosage not stopping it entirely. But I just knew it was the right thing to do. I can't really even tell you why.

At first it was a bit like the when I cut my dosage but slightly different. I had these strange electric shock feelings every so often. They have stopped since then, which I'm very glad for because it was kind of uncomfortable.

So that's me, med free and feeling good.

Chemo #5 - Checking in

Friday morning was Tally's 5th Chemo appointment. Overall I'm shocked by how well she does each time. She's always so sweet and happy to see all of the people at the vet office. But I suppose that really shouldn't shock me. She's generally a happy easy going dog.

The side effects are fairly minimal. The list of what could happen is rather long and so far hers are centered around the lethargy and a bit of a stomach issue. This time the stomach hasn't been as big of a deal. But she has been pretty tired. I'm not sure if I'll know what to do with her when this is over and she wants to start playing again. That will be strange.

But really she is doing great and it's almost over. Only one more to go. Can't wait for it to be over. The vet said that she's not sure yet how to monitor her afterwards. So I'm a bit nervous about that. I'm sure it won't be awful but I'm not good with unknowns so I'll be really glad when that's all sorted.

And now for a graceful switch of topics today I did a bunch of stuff around the house, inside and out. Started by waking at 5:20 even with my newly purchased sleep mask. That's frustrating. Stayed up for a bit and then back to sleep for a bit. Up for good at 9. Then a Tally walk and off to Home Depot. Had to buy some plants for a big container on the patio, some mulch, and black spray paint. See I've got these two red and white patio chairs that are looking a bit worse for wear so I decided to spray paint them black. That way they will match the new chair I bought this year. Unfortunately today it was too windy. So when I got home it was all about yard work. Blech. But the pot is now full of color and one of the beds is fully mulched. Also got a bit of weeding done on the patio. Then inside to paint the ceiling in the hallway and do laundry. Full day all around.

Oh and I think today was day 7 of the Active 30 day challenge. After figuring out my earlier issues with the system (the position you hold the remotes in is VERY important) it's turning into a really great workout. I'm feeling better about my body in lots of ways. Huge step forward there. The med taper is still going well. I don't HAVE to nap any more and if I do it's only an hour or so, not 3 or 4.

Spent time today researching vacation options. My mom called yesterday and offered to take Tally for me so I can go somewhere. The best time for her is August so I've been focused on that time frame. I'm having a hard time figuring out where to go and what to do. I haven't ever taken a vacation by myself and I'm not sure what it will be like. Should I take a tour somewhere or just lay low somewhere? Pros and cons of both. Tour means no alone time, right? Lay low means all alone time, right? I like the idea of being active and I like the idea of being lazy. Mountains would be nice and ocean would be nice. Can I somehow have an active, lazy, social, alone, beachy, mountainy vacation? If so, where?

Another graceful topic change; I joined a book club. I found a listing on meetup.com for a book club that seemed like it might be interesting. It meets once a month and for June they chose two books! I've finished the first and read a few pages of the second last night. The first one was The Alienist. Didn't love it. Thought the writing was a bit forced because it was written in first person recollection. Way too many times where he said "but I didn't know it then" or "it didn't occur to me then". Clunky. Hopefully the next will be better. No matter what it adds a social outlet that I need. I've also joined a few other groups too. Haven't gone to any actual meetups yet but I joined the groups. Does that count for anything? My little brain says yep.

I believe that's all for now. See you all later.

It's time for an update

Tally had Chemo #4 on Friday morning. This one was really easy. I can't believe I just called Chemo easy. But it was a lot less difficult than the first three. I'd say nary a side effect to be seen. WAHOO! She's still being picky about eating her normal food but I've been able to combat that by adding the canned version to her dry. She eats it all up lickey split.

This morning we took our normal walk and weekend Starbucks stop. Tally's usually very compliant when I leave her outside but today she just couldn't stand me leaving her behind. She kept barking and drawing me back out to her. A couple with a pug, wife getting the drinks and husband staying with the dog, offered to watch her while I went in. Tally was still very concerned that I was leaving her even with her new friends keeping her company. We usually get to Starbucks a bit earlier than we did today so there was a lot more activity than normal. I think that's why or at least that's what I'm sticking with. Right now she's passed out tummy side up.

And let's see an Emily update. The med taper is going fairly well. The shaking and jitters seem to have passed. Still having problems thinking of the proper words at times but oh well. My energy level has increased, which is GREAT! I'm able to go an entire weekend without a nap. That in itself is a miracle. I seem to need a lot less sleep overall which again miraculous. I've been tackling tasks around the house and generally able to keep moving. On Tuesday it will have been two weeks on the decreased dose and I'm not sure when I'll stop entirely. Maybe a few more weeks. I'll give it time. Take it slow and easy. For now I'm really happy with how it's going and I'll keep it at that.

Off to get more done around the casa. Perhaps I'll get those under cabinet lights installed. Certainly have to keep going on the den.

Happy weekend to all!

Shaking and fidgety

Last night when I got home from work Tally seemed to be doing OK. We had a pretty good walk. She didn't eat anything except a few treats but she was holding steady. Then as the night wore on she started to get the shakes. It was so sad. She didn't want to lay down in her normal spot on the couch so I let her lay on the other side of me and wrapped her up in a blanket where she stayed comfortably for the rest of the night and on into this morning. It really made me sad to see her like that. I hated having to leave her this morning since she didn't eat her breakfast either.

Then there's me and my meds tapering fidgety self. So far it hasn't been too bad but it is a bit odd. It feels like every so often I lose control of my motor skills and have to fidget and contort. And I feel a bit of an odd tight headache which could also be due to the insane allergy issues I been having but who's to say. The feeling makes it hard to sit still or focus. Especially with one of my co-workers who expects me to automatically have all of the history and back story on tasks without even trying. He just says things and expects me to know the who, where, what, when and why of it and I can't think straight enough to figure it all out.

It's only day two so I'm going to keep on keeping on. Here's hoping it gets better and not worse. Same goes for my little Tally bear. Better not worse. BETTER NOT WORSE!

I'm a taperer

The tests my doctor ran last week all came back normal except my Vitamin D level which is low. Not a shock for someone who lives in the PNW. She's going to prescribe some D for a bit and then see how I'm doing. The other thing that I'm going to do is taper off my anti-depressants.

I've thought about going off them every now and again over the past few years. There was always a reason not to. This time it seems like the probable side effects are too great and out weigh any benefits I might be getting. So starting this morning I'm on a half a dose and will stay on that for a while. Not yet sure how long since there really isn't any strict protocol for going off them. It's sort of a try this and see type of thing. So that's what I'm going to do. I figure I'll take it slowly and see how it goes. No rushing it.

Wish me luck. I'm a bit nervous but I'll handle it. No matter what I'll handle it. Off I go. Off the meds I go.