My own internal buzz

Shall I just pick up where I left off? I would but I'm not entirely sure where I left off here. I've been gone for a while and so rather than try to figure it out I'll just start spilling some things and see what sticks.

On Labor Day weekend I bought a whole big lot of fun stuff. Started with a Roomba on Saturday. Oh Roomba how I love thee and your dirt sucking nature. Then there was the Wii on Sunday. Oh Wii and Lego Star Wars how I adore thee and your time sucking nature. And then there was the Volkswagen Tiguan on Monday. Oh Tiguan how I worship thee and your... well... nothing sucks about you oh Tiguan of my dreams.

Since then the majority of September has slipped by and I have hardly noticed its passing (blame it on the Wii). How did it get to be the first day of fall 2008? I mean wasn't Y2K just yesterday?

I did get a few things done around the house. Nothing earth shattering like taking down walls, that would be so fall 2007. This time it was those tiny little things that sit undone and mock you in their undone-ness every time you pass them. Edging the front planting beds with the leftover patio pavers being one. And the partial weeding of the "backyard" being another.

Nothing new on the foot or should I say toe front. I'm thinking of getting a second opinion but am going to wait until after I start on the insurance plan at new workplace which is October 1st. My shingle outbreak started to itch yesterday for no reason at all that I can determine when it hasn't bothered me in quite a while. Today I feel as though I forgot to take my meds but I'm nearly certain I did. The "forgot my meds" feeling is one of a nearly panic attack like jittery going to bust out of my skin at any moment type of thing. Perhaps this is why I'm actually taking the time to write. That and Amy said I should. (Hi Amy!)

At this very moment Tally could be at home filling it with poo. She has never gone two walks in a row without a numero 2 except last night and then this morning. It makes me nervous. Perhaps my attempt at getting her poo to a better consistency..... Wait am I oversharing about my dogs poo? Feel free to skip this paragraph if you'd rather not have all of these details. See she has this issue with her anal glands filling up and then needing to be squeezed or un-filled. You know that they need to be attended to because she starts dragging her little behind on everything and anything. Molly's legs not included, she just licks those. Anyway I digress. I've had to bring her in twice so far for anal gland attention and in order to try to alleviate that I was told to add some fiber to her diet. Benefiber was my fiber additive of choice. So far she loves it when I add the Benefiber and licks her bowl clean afterwards but there had been no change in her habits and output. And then last night and this morning there was no output. Nervous. It makes me nervous.

Enough of that what else?? Oh I should be focusing on dating. Should be but am having a very tough time actually putting it into practice. The thought of dating makes me more nervous than Tally's bowels. I wish I wasn't single. I'd rather not be single. But the thought of doing anything at all about that situation brings me to tears (Right, Girls?). So is that why I feel like I forgot my meds today? It's just a physical reaction to my mental struggle with the world of dating? If you have an answer for that I will pay you much hard earned cash monies.

So I believe you may have had quite enough from this insane person today so I shall sign off for now. Hopefully I shall return sooner rather than later.

Ugh, I am falling apart

I now have a diagnosis of my foot pain. I saw a podiatrist this morning and I have developed (am developing) osteoarthritis in my big toe(s). It is more pronounced in my right foot but also a bit in my left as well. I'm a bit on the bummed side about this because well it's a bummer. I have a bone scan scheduled for Friday to get some more information about my feet and a follow up appointment with the podiatrist for Monday to go over the scan results. So anyway at least there's a bit of information about that. More as I know it.

And here's the other reason I'm falling apart. I was diagnosed on Monday with Shingles and not the ones you put on the roof of your house. Anyone who's had chicken pox can get shingles because they are caused by the same virus but still. You know it's not your week when one day you find out you have one disease and then to discover a day later that you have another.

So there's that. I'll say it again, Ugh.

Shop like a shopper

The high temperatures this week have been progressively climbing up the thermometer. Today's high is said to be near 90 and tomorrow as well.

So when getting ready for work today I wanted to wear an outfit that would be acceptable for the air-conditioned office and the non-air conditioned bus ride home. I decided on these really comfy chocolate brown capri's I bought last year at Lucy. But alas and alack I do not own the proper foot ware to accompany said comfy chocolate brown capri's. I made do with another pair of shoes but spent my morning in an unhappy foot ware state of mind. Then came lunch. On a whim, I walked the two blocks to the bus stop that would take me to where the shopping lives. It's only about 8 blocks and I've walked it before but today I was on a mission and didn't have the time to waste.

I hopped on the #3 bus and got off outside the downtown Macy's. Quick round through their shoe department turned up no good options. So back outside to head over to Nordstrom. A fly by of their shoe department yielded the perfect adorable chocolate brown Reef's. And yes I know that given my current foot pain I should not be wearing flip flops. 90 degrees people! Feet cannot be forced into shoes when it is 90 degrees outside. It just cannot be done.

Flip flops purchased, two blocks back to the bus, 8 blocks on the bus back to work. There and back with shoes purchased in a half an hour. Awesome. I even had a bit of money on a Nordstrom gift card that needed using. So all in all I'd say I made out like a thief.

Now here I sit in a Friday lull at work. People are on vacation, people are leaving early, and I am posting on this here blog. Hopefully Tally is enjoying her day and the house hasn't become a sweltering oven of 90 degree heat. Hope everyone has fantastic weekend plans ahead of them. Mine still involve dealing with the den. Perhaps some day I will have wonderful AFTER pictures to show you. I certainly hope so.

Where do I go?

I keep feeling as though parts of me disappear. I stop posting here and at the same time seem to stop paying attention to other areas of my life. It happens with regularity that I have yet to be able to pin point. Is it based on the phases of the moon? Or perhaps the phases of my cycle? Perhaps I should take a look back at my posts here. I'm positive that I've talked about this plenty of times before.

The song that shouldn't come up on shuffle on your iPod at this precise moment is Rhett Miller's "Come Around" with the refrain of "Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life?" This is the thought that seems to pervade these times more than any other. It's the one that paralyzes me into inaction. I can't break out of the fear. The "lonely for the rest of my life" thought is too scary to face, so I face nothing. I hide from most everything. The dirty dishes start to pile up next to the sink. The clean dishes still fill the dishwasher. The den project cannot be tackled. I'm not moving forward or anywhere at all.

I invent reasons why I can't use my computer at home to work on my match.com situation. The room is too messy. The desk is too messy. I really should clean the kitchen first. Tally should really have a bath before I start that huge project.

The den has become a symbol for my dating life. Don't pay any attention to that place in that corner. Avoid it at all costs. Keep looking another direction, any other direction but not that one. Makes me wonder if the northwest corner of the house is the relationship corner in fung shui land. Do you know?

So what do I do? Carol says that I'm ready. To date that is. She thinks I'm ready to take it on. That I need to take it on. Well, I know that I need to but I just can't. I can't face it. It's too much. I'm mired down in an uncomfortable, spiky, painful place.

PMS is that you talking? If so, please go away soon.

Feet and other feelings

Today at lunch I walked the two blocks to the nearest drug store in search of the heel cup shoe inserts the Dr told me to get. No where on the wall of shoe inserts was a heel cup shoe insert that wasn't made of a ultra thick layer of super squishy silicone. Not quite what I wanted and I don't think it is what my Dr described to me either. So I decided, after much hemming and hawing, to purchase the Dr Scholl's tri-comfort orthotics. The package says they are "clinically proven pain relief for Heel, Arch, Ball-of-Foot, and Lower Back." So far I'm not sold. Or should I say soled. Ha Ha Ha. Next up on Project Footpain, the find yourself a podiatrist challenge.

And in the other feelings category I had a very strong reaction this morning to this post over at Pioneer Woman. For a very long couple of moments I felt an intense longing to have a baby. Now this is not necessarily a "new" thing for me. I've always known that I'd like to have kids but this was different. More intense and much more of a physical response then I have ever experienced before. Is this what people say when they hear their biological clock? It probably doesn't help that someone I've known since 5th grade also had her first baby this week.

So I have babies on the brain and no outlet for it. Perhaps I should try to find a date or ten so that it feels like I'm making head way in the whole life-partner portion of the have a baby dream. Now where did I put that match.com UserID and Password information?

The saga of the feet

So here's the much requested answer to what the Dr thinks is wrong with my foot... He doesn't know for sure. He wasn't completely without ideas. He instructed me to only wear my running shoes, not to walk around barefoot except in the shower and ice my foot every night. Then if in 5 days or so it's not getting better then I'm to go back and get an x-ray. So far it is not feeling better even after being really lazy and mostly off my feet this weekend. Which makes me think that I'm on my way to that x-ray. I also think I should try to find myself a podiatrist because I think that my feet hurt more often then they should. More often then most people's feet do. How often would you say your feet bother you?

Lightening poll.
Please comment and let me know in the course of a given week how often your feet bother you. I'd really like to know if I'm an oddity or more of a norm. Thank you!!

My day began this way

This morning I missed my bus. It's the second time I've done that since I started taking the bus to my new job. The first time it was really my fault because I pushed leaving the house too far just to see how far I could push it. This time it was only partially my fault. I left the house on time but my stupid foot kept me from walking quickly enough to get there on time. So I sat on the bench and waited for 20 minutes until the next bus.

The weather was practically perfect this morning and inspired me to try out the camera on the crackberry new workplace gave me. This was my view while I waited for the next bus.


Then there was the issue with my cup from Starbucks. There were two or three tiny holes in my cup that only started to leak as I rode the escalator up. So I had to walk all the way around to the down escalator to get a new cup. The barista even double cupped the new one but both of those cups also had holes in them which, since I'm apparently slow, I didn't actually notice until it started to leak all over my keyboard and desk.

Here's hoping that these are the only two set backs of my day. How's your Friday going so far?

Oh and about my stupid foot, I've got a Dr's appointment this afternoon. So there's that.

Brain lacking, thought difficult

I realized about an hour ago that I didn't have any caffeine this morning and that's why I have no brain cells currently in firing position. I'm blaming it on that because the other option is that I shouldn't eat Thai food for lunch and well, that is just not possible. So caffeine deficiency it is. So this afternoon I have been a blob of unproduction. Is unproduction a word? Spellcheck says no. Oh well.

Sundry's post today was exactly what I think all of the time. Those blog posts that I write in my head while walking Tally or eating dinner or riding the bus are always so eloquent and thought provoking. The pictures I would take if only I had my camera with me are always wonderful snippets of my life. But do you see any of those things here? Big old nope.

Of late all I have bored you (and myself) with are the ins and outs of the J-O-B. Well if that isn't enough to put you straight to sleep I don't know what is. Oh new idea. Write the most inane blog posts ever and market this space as a sleep aid. There might be money in that. You never know.

So for now I shall blame the caffeine or lack there of. And tomorrow perhaps I shall blame my new haircut. Always place blame squarely somewhere else. That's my motto.

Happy Tuesday!

When it doubt blog it out.

I'm having an odd morning. Nothing much is happening. I don't really have anything to really work on at the moment. There will be tasks assigned to me soon but those who might assign them are all in a meeting. The people shear number of people in said meeting lead me to believe that I should probably be in there too but since I was not invited here I sit. And since I did not want to sit and be entirely unproductive I thought I'd blog. But the truth is I don't have all that much to say. Perhaps I shall just ramble until work needs me. See how long that takes.

Let's start with a weekend recap shall we? Spent Friday night doing something which as of right this moment I cannot exactly recall. Must have been riveting good fun huh? Saturday I do definitely remember. The morning started out with an early wake up by little Miss bear dog. She's been a bit unsettled as of late. Not sure why exactly. Perhaps she needs more exercise. Perhaps she needs more mental stimulation? Perhaps she needs some of her mommies meds. I do not know. We had a rather nice morning walk through the community college and then back home for breakfast. Arrived back home to a voicemail from Amy with an invitation to go out to breakfast. I love me some restaurant breakfast so I quickly called her back and said hell yes I'm coming. Had a lovely breakfast of Buckwheat Pancakes and some/most of Amy's potatoes at Portage Bay Cafe. Then a plan was hatched that involved Denise and furniture shopping (Amy's most favorite activity ever!). We travelled over to West Seattle in search of the particular furniture store and found out it was Summer Fest in West Seattle. A large part of California Ave was blocked off and filled with a variety of odd booths and way too many bouncy houses for kids. We gladly strolled the booths and a couple of stores and spent time accosting the furniture store. Then we all felt that a beer or Margarita was definitely in order so we headed toward Alki none of us actually knowing what we would end up finding. We parked immediately and walked quite a while along the water only to find condo and house after condo and house with no eating establishments that didn't reek from a million miles away to be found. We turned around and tried to hatched another plan which then involved the deck at Pyramid Brewery. Denise and I gobbled up a bit of dinner and Denise and Amy got their sought after beers. My spicy black bean burger was so very good. Then we called it a day and I trotted back home to rescue the little Tally girl from her leg crossed pee pee dance. Another nice evening walk and back home for some couch time.

Sunday was much less full than Saturday. The night was even more sleepless than the one before. Tally seemed to be suffering from a bit of insomnia or something and woke me up at odd hours. I slept fitfully when I was asleep with strange dreams and anxious thoughts filling every moment. It took me a long time to really start my day on Sunday and in the end all I was able to accomplish was taking Tally to the pet store to pick up her food and a new collar/leash combo. I am really liking the new leash. It's from Red Dingo. And so is the collar. They have a great range of colors and I was going to get both in Orange but thought better of it and just got Red. Their leash handles are really comfortable. I'm, like I said, really liking it. Since I had/have nearly no food in the house I opted to have someone bring me my dinner and ordered pizza. It was good and I have the leftovers for lunch today. Is it lunch time yet? Once it got to early evening I thought I should finally deal with killing the bees that have made their home in the hole left when I removed the non-working door bell button. I found three dead bees this morning and think that I may have to do more killing this evening. Hopefully all done with no bees biting me. That would be bad.

And that's all the update I can think to post today. Happy Monday to all.

New job = no blogging on work hours; and etc.

The new job has left me with no time (except right this very moment) to blog during work hours. So that's where I went. Surprise that I actually have to work at new job rather than sit and do nothing like I was able to do at old job.

New job is going well. Only a few days in so it could all change but for now I'm having a good time. Starting to feel my way around and through all of the "processes" that I am supposed to be helping to sort out and streamline. Let me tell you it's going to take a whole lot of brain power on my part to determine the Standard Operation Procedures (SOP) around here. It is convoluted to say the very least. Even those people who have been here a while have no idea of what should happen when and what triggers what. It is a mess. I love sorting out messes.

Now for a non-job update. This weekend was a nice long one for me. Job was closed on Friday the 4th and I took an unpaid day off on Monday the 7th. Four days off did me some good. I had a pretty good 4th. Went to a pot-new where everyone has to bring something new that they've wanted to try making. There was a TON of good food. I had been dying for some sweet potato fries for a while and thought I would try making them myself. It was a shock but they actually turned out really good. Soggy but still oh so tasty. They got very favorable reviews from other party goers and were quickly finished off. I now have two official hits for potlucks: black bean and corn salsa (thanks to Liz for that recipe) and baked sweet potato fries. I'm nearly a gourmet cook.

As a general rule I am not a fan of the 4th of July. It's the normal people setting off fireworks all over the place that gets to me. I feel as though I am one split second away from getting blown to bits and it's almost more than I can handle. So I spent Saturday recovering from my trauma (no there wasn't any REAL trauma but my head thought there was) and nearly slept the day away. Tally was very sleepy as well so we were two bumps most of the day. Very nice. That evening I started to scrub my shower surround in preparation for sealing it. My shower surround is slate as is the floor and I'm nearly certain it was never sealed after its installation and before I bought the place.

So that brings me to Sunday where I actually sealed the slate and nearly died. If it weren't for Amy showing up and waking me from my slumber Tally and I may have succumbed to the fumes. Not really but apparently my house was uber-stinky and I didn't even realize it. Fast forward to Sunday night where I try to fall asleep with a raging headache most likely from all of the nearly dead brain cells trying to regenerate themselves. Ugh.

Monday was paint, patio set and plant buying day. Molly and I agreed very easily on the patio set and the plants. We even got the plants in the ground last night as well. I swear that I will get some pictures soon. Probably once the patio set is put together cause then it will look all pretty and stuff.

Today I am back into the swing of things at work or something like that. I'm also feeling very very very abnormally large. So tonight I am hoping to get up the courage to take Tally roller blading for the first time. Wish me luck.

I have missed you dear blog and I do apologize for my absence. I will pay more attention to you I pinkie swear.