My mood when I woke up this morning was the same as it was when I went to bed last night, shitty. But you can thank the wonderful Internets for lifting it enough for me to be able to write in here right now in a manner that won't (hopefully) be full of self-loathing and hatred.
My standard start to my day at work is to read the new posts on my favorite blogs. I always start with the ones that are about people and their lives. This morning was no exception.
Here's why my mood was lifted at least a bit:
Shauna over at Pickles & Dimes posted a list of the things that she loves. How can anyone not feel happier after reading a lovely, positive, happy list like that?
Ree at Confessions of a Pioneer Woman posted the next installment of her Black Heels to Tractor Wheels love story. I am definitely a sucker for romance.
So you can thank two of my most favorite bloggers for not having to read a sad, moody, depressing post here this morning. Yes, I'm still feeling rather deflated today and yes I'm so glad that today is a Carol day because otherwise I might blow an emotional gasket right here right now all over the unsuspecting world of the internets.
My mood started to decline yesterday when I received a "let's be friends" email from a guy I'd gone on one short first date with. I didn't have my heart set on seeing him again (or at least I didn't think I did) but apparently I was unprepared to be nicely turned down. After reading that email I took a two hour nap which seems to be my standard can't face the world response as of late. When I woke up I knew that I had to leave the house for a few hours so that Tally would be prepared to be alone today. OK that's my take on it, she's prepared to spend today all alone for the first time because I went to the mall and the grocery store last night. I'm nearly certain that she'll be fine because she's just so easy going but I'm torn up about leaving her alone.
So I got myself out of the house and went to wander around U Village. See Tally had her first puke session early Wednesday morning and it landed squarely on my living room rug. A rug that doesn't clean easily and that I have been planning on replacing. As part of my wanderings I decided to stop into Crate and Barrel and order up my new rug. I should have it in less than two weeks. I also did some lazy browsing at Barnes and Noble. Then it was off to Safeway and back home to Tally.
This was my second time leaving her home alone. The first had been the night before when I ran to Target. That time I was only gone for about a half an hour because I just couldn't stay away from her longer than that.
Today I'm emotional, rejected and lonely. I wish Tally was by my side right now. Boss agreed to try having her come to work with me one day a week which is much more than I thought I'd get from him and I'm very thankful for that. I chose Wednesday's so that her week would be broken up a bit. I wish today was Wednesday.
I wish for so many things but rather than end this post with a list of all of the things that I don't have I'm going to follow Shauna's lead and list some of the things that I love. This list might be short because my poor little brain can't seem to think of much right now. But here goes.
I love laughing with my girls. Having season tickets to the ballet with Mel. Spicy foods. Big margaritas and plates of sloppy Mexican food. Mango Chicken Curry. Penang Curry. My morning cup of Chai. Sour Jelly Belly's. Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream. Getting lost in a good book. Roller blading on the Burke Gilman on those perfect Seattle days. My Tiffany Cushion Ring. Seeing Carol. 4:30 PM M-F because that's when I get to go home.
OK slipped a bit on that last one huh? Either way thank you internets for doing your very best to make me happy. I truly appreciate it.