My home visit has been scheduled for tomorrow @ 7 PM. A woman named Marge is coming to check out my place to make sure it passes the test of where a dog should live. Good god I hope it does. How could it not you ask? No clue.
In preparation for Marge's visit I spent much of last night sorting through the miscellaneous crap that has been piling up over the past few months. The den actually has a floor and you can see the walls of the room as well. It actually looks like a room and not just a storage facility. The pile of items to donate to charity has taken over half of the living room so that it now looks like a storage facility. Tonight I'm planning on loading it into the car and actually delivering it to the donation location.
My hope is with the house seeming put together and clean then it will seem bigger and more dog worthy. I'm certain I won't be able to sort through everything and make it as perfect as anal-retentive me would like but it's a start.
I feel like my life is starting back up again with all of my doggie excitement. I'm starting to feel like I might be able to tackle those things that had for so long been sitting and waiting. Take the den as an example. It has been the place where crap goes to die since I moved into my house 9 months ago. It wasn't a useful or productive space at all. In fact I could hardly ever get myself to cross the threshold to check my email. Going in there at all was a panic inducing, heart pounding experience.
No matter how hard I tried I could not muster up the motivation and strength to deal with that room. Now that I might be a doggie mommy I'm feeling a bit more strength. Just a little bit. I will admit that I had to stop and leave the room several times last night because I just couldn't keep the bad feelings at bay. I was able to go back in after a break though which I'm very proud of.
You wouldn't think that a person who adores organization and structure as much as I do would have such a block in dealing with this type of situation. But I do. Carol and I have talked about it and I have many ideas why but that hasn't made them disappear. It's still there and it still works me into an emotional frenzy to even think about it.
I'm doing what I can to make my life "work" again and I'm very hopeful that adopting Kelly is just the motivation I've been searching for. Having another being to be responsible for and care for is going to change my life and I know it will be for the better.