Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Attitude equals the crapper etc. etc. etc.

My attitude is in the old horrid today. Perhaps it started last night or maybe it attached itself this morning. I am not knowing where, when or why. What I'd really like to know is how to make it improve? What method can I use to drag it from its lowly position and back to something I recognize as a workable version of me?

Eating tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwich for lunch while reading "The life of Pi" didn't help. A shot of vanilla bean ice cream with caramel sauce from Tully's didn't help. Well perhaps it helped a little because when does ice cream not help at all? Never that's when.

Now I've plugged my ears with my iPod and I'm hoping that music will help to calm my currently savage soul.

Tally ran away from me last night. OK she didn't so much run away from me as run off like a shot after some squirrels and a cat that were across the street. Because I'm thick skulled and don't learn, I had let her out so we could walk across the patio to give Molly the mail we had collected while she was gone. All of 20 feet without her collar and leash on. It's not a good idea. When will I learn that? Perhaps last night was the last time I'll do it. I seriously hope so. I had to quickly hand Molly the stuff I had in my hands, corral Tally in a corner, pick her up and carry her 30 pound self home. Oh and to top it off there was a lovely elderly lady across the street who took this precise moment to tell me "You know there's a leash law! Don't get me wrong I like dogs, I just don't want them shitting in my lawn." To which I said "This was not on purpose. I do not want her off leash at your house. And I assure you that she does not shit on your lawn." Ugh.

To make matters worse I then dropped Tally back in the house and like a child I slammed the front door behind me. Or so I thought. My stupid front door doesn't actually close correctly so all it did was swing back open and out Tally came after me. I was nearly beside myself at this point so I took her down onto her side and held her there until we had both calmed down. Cesar Millan would not have been impressed with me at that moment. I was not calm assertive in any way shape or form. Well, I wasn't hysterical or anything but I was definitely worked up as the door slamming is evidence of.

Tally is such a great dog in so many ways. She's so very loving and gentle. I adore her. I just wish that I wouldn't forget she's still a dog. Squirrel and cats are just too much for her to ignore. She has to have them (Oh and geese too but those are much less likely to cross our paths). She's a dog. She's a dog. She's a dog. Got that? You'd better because one of these times there might be a car crossing that street at the same time she does and you'll be picking up the pieces.

I can't get myself to work on the dating side of my life. I can't bring myself to write back to the guy who emailed me from match or the two who winked at me. I can't do it. How do I do it?

Friday, September 26, 2008

Here's more of me

I spent nearly two full days of this week home sick. Sick with what? I cannot even quantify it for you. It was an illness of unknown origin that started on Sunday afternoon when my shingle (the rash spot on my neck) started to itch. Monday I felt all a jittery and a buzz (see previous post) and then on Tuesday I felt like the floor of a city bus. I lasted all of two hours at work and then made my way slowly home via the bus.

When I finally got home Tally was quite excited to see me. However, she was not happy with me that I went straight to bed for the next four hours. Every hour or so she would come in and perform her little protest of my prostrate position. When I told her in a firm voice "No" she would turn around and walk away but always to return. Finally, her adorableness was too much and I decided to get up and join her in the living room. On Wednesday I realized that I was in no position to go into work and didn't even try. I did make it to the living room and tried to nap in there on the couch. Again Tally performed her protest of my sleeping position this time by nudging my head with her nose and even one time licking the inside of my ear. It was the inside of the ear lick that got me this time not her cute little mug.

Yesterday I made it to work the entire day and only started to feel the pain near the very end, which makes me quite happy. Today I'm feeling nearly 100% (or as close to it as I generally come) which is great. Just in time for a fun filled weekend!

Tomorrow I get to watch the little J-man while Jess and Josh are both at work. I cannot wait! I haven't seen him in WAY too long and it will be a great way to spend my Saturday afternoon. Saturday night my mom is going to stay with me and we are going to grab dinner where Matt works. Mom hasn't been there yet and she wants to check out the new swanky digs her son is working at. Not sure what I'll do Sunday yet but the weather is supposed to be great so I'm hoping to spend it outside.

Later skaters! Have a great weekend!!!

Monday, September 22, 2008

My own internal buzz

Shall I just pick up where I left off? I would but I'm not entirely sure where I left off here. I've been gone for a while and so rather than try to figure it out I'll just start spilling some things and see what sticks.

On Labor Day weekend I bought a whole big lot of fun stuff. Started with a Roomba on Saturday. Oh Roomba how I love thee and your dirt sucking nature. Then there was the Wii on Sunday. Oh Wii and Lego Star Wars how I adore thee and your time sucking nature. And then there was the Volkswagen Tiguan on Monday. Oh Tiguan how I worship thee and your... well... nothing sucks about you oh Tiguan of my dreams.

Since then the majority of September has slipped by and I have hardly noticed its passing (blame it on the Wii). How did it get to be the first day of fall 2008? I mean wasn't Y2K just yesterday?

I did get a few things done around the house. Nothing earth shattering like taking down walls, that would be so fall 2007. This time it was those tiny little things that sit undone and mock you in their undone-ness every time you pass them. Edging the front planting beds with the leftover patio pavers being one. And the partial weeding of the "backyard" being another.

Nothing new on the foot or should I say toe front. I'm thinking of getting a second opinion but am going to wait until after I start on the insurance plan at new workplace which is October 1st. My shingle outbreak started to itch yesterday for no reason at all that I can determine when it hasn't bothered me in quite a while. Today I feel as though I forgot to take my meds but I'm nearly certain I did. The "forgot my meds" feeling is one of a nearly panic attack like jittery going to bust out of my skin at any moment type of thing. Perhaps this is why I'm actually taking the time to write. That and Amy said I should. (Hi Amy!)

At this very moment Tally could be at home filling it with poo. She has never gone two walks in a row without a numero 2 except last night and then this morning. It makes me nervous. Perhaps my attempt at getting her poo to a better consistency..... Wait am I oversharing about my dogs poo? Feel free to skip this paragraph if you'd rather not have all of these details. See she has this issue with her anal glands filling up and then needing to be squeezed or un-filled. You know that they need to be attended to because she starts dragging her little behind on everything and anything. Molly's legs not included, she just licks those. Anyway I digress. I've had to bring her in twice so far for anal gland attention and in order to try to alleviate that I was told to add some fiber to her diet. Benefiber was my fiber additive of choice. So far she loves it when I add the Benefiber and licks her bowl clean afterwards but there had been no change in her habits and output. And then last night and this morning there was no output. Nervous. It makes me nervous.

Enough of that what else?? Oh I should be focusing on dating. Should be but am having a very tough time actually putting it into practice. The thought of dating makes me more nervous than Tally's bowels. I wish I wasn't single. I'd rather not be single. But the thought of doing anything at all about that situation brings me to tears (Right, Girls?). So is that why I feel like I forgot my meds today? It's just a physical reaction to my mental struggle with the world of dating? If you have an answer for that I will pay you much hard earned cash monies.

So I believe you may have had quite enough from this insane person today so I shall sign off for now. Hopefully I shall return sooner rather than later.