My attitude is in the old horrid today. Perhaps it started last night or maybe it attached itself this morning. I am not knowing where, when or why. What I'd really like to know is how to make it improve? What method can I use to drag it from its lowly position and back to something I recognize as a workable version of me?
Eating tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwich for lunch while reading "The life of Pi" didn't help. A shot of vanilla bean ice cream with caramel sauce from Tully's didn't help. Well perhaps it helped a little because when does ice cream not help at all? Never that's when.
Now I've plugged my ears with my iPod and I'm hoping that music will help to calm my currently savage soul.
Tally ran away from me last night. OK she didn't so much run away from me as run off like a shot after some squirrels and a cat that were across the street. Because I'm thick skulled and don't learn, I had let her out so we could walk across the patio to give Molly the mail we had collected while she was gone. All of 20 feet without her collar and leash on. It's not a good idea. When will I learn that? Perhaps last night was the last time I'll do it. I seriously hope so. I had to quickly hand Molly the stuff I had in my hands, corral Tally in a corner, pick her up and carry her 30 pound self home. Oh and to top it off there was a lovely elderly lady across the street who took this precise moment to tell me "You know there's a leash law! Don't get me wrong I like dogs, I just don't want them shitting in my lawn." To which I said "This was not on purpose. I do not want her off leash at your house. And I assure you that she does not shit on your lawn." Ugh.
To make matters worse I then dropped Tally back in the house and like a child I slammed the front door behind me. Or so I thought. My stupid front door doesn't actually close correctly so all it did was swing back open and out Tally came after me. I was nearly beside myself at this point so I took her down onto her side and held her there until we had both calmed down. Cesar Millan would not have been impressed with me at that moment. I was not calm assertive in any way shape or form. Well, I wasn't hysterical or anything but I was definitely worked up as the door slamming is evidence of.
Tally is such a great dog in so many ways. She's so very loving and gentle. I adore her. I just wish that I wouldn't forget she's still a dog. Squirrel and cats are just too much for her to ignore. She has to have them (Oh and geese too but those are much less likely to cross our paths). She's a dog. She's a dog. She's a dog. Got that? You'd better because one of these times there might be a car crossing that street at the same time she does and you'll be picking up the pieces.
I can't get myself to work on the dating side of my life. I can't bring myself to write back to the guy who emailed me from match or the two who winked at me. I can't do it. How do I do it?