Tough morning

This morning on our walk Tally and I had an encounter with a couple and their THREE Pitbulls. I've seen this couple before and I do not like them at all. They are, if you will excuse the phrase, white trash.

At first they only had one Pitbull, and then a second, and now today a third. I had this feeling when we were talking toward them on the sidewalk that I should cross to the other side of the street. But I didn't want to be mean. Oh how I wish I would have listened to that feeling.

As we were walking toward them Tally pulled in behind me, as though she was trying to hide behind me. The two full grown pits (the new one is a puppy) were being walked by the female of the couple and she could not hold them back. They lunged at Tally and she was bit a few times. It all happened so fast. I was really shaken up and tried to calm down enough to get their contact information. This is why I ALWAYS walk with my cell phone in my pocket. I took her name and phone number. They apologized a few times and said the classic line "He's never done that before" and I just said "Fine" and walked straight back home.

Once in the door I started crying. Tally was shaking and nervous. I checked her out as best I could and called our Vet. They fit us in an hour and a half later. Before leaving for the vet I tried calling the owner of the other dog and told her that I wanted the dogs name, her last name, and their Vet's information to verify that the dog was current on its shots. She said that they don't have a vet and that she has the paperwork showing a valid 4 year rabies vaccination. Then she went started yelling at me and saying that her dog got bit too and was bleeding and calling me a "fucking bitch" and saying that she wanted proof of my dogs vaccinations too and then hung up on me.

I hate some dog owners. I feel so badly for breeds like Pitbulls and Rottweilers because they get such a bad chance at getting a genuinely good owner. These people are exactly the type of people who should absolutely NOT own even one Pitbull let alone THREE!! I fear that it is all going to end very badly for those three dogs.

Tally appears to be mostly OK. Her Vet and I were able to find a couple of fairly superficial scratches that had bled a bit. She got a shot of antibiotics there and is now on antibiotics for a week and also some anti-inflammatories. Right now she is sleeping soundly and I'm still fuming.

From now on I will trust my inner voice when it's telling me to cross the street.

p.s. The label for this post "Dog Bit" now has an entirely different meaning.

Lacking

Today I feel as though I am lacking in so many ways. Perhaps it's all hormonal but it is debilitating.

While searching Monster today I saw a listing for "the" real estate company that I would like to work for. It was a link to a test to take that would tell you if you match the "4 Core Capacities" of their top performing agents. Guess who doesn't match, me that's who.

As I read through my results I thought "that's right" and "yeah that's me" to these types of statements:

• Understanding and compassion are central to your life strategy.
• You strive to cause people and things to function well together.
• Seeing potential and opportunity is a primary talent.
• Strategic thinking is your forte.
• You can always see another way to put things together.
• You have wit and creativity in your thinking.
• Understanding others and working with them is a key asset of yours.

You always want the results of these tests to feel accurate. You'd rather it ring true with you than to feel a complete mismatch. Then I got to the section where they described the results for their top agents. It's just not me. Their number 1 is my number 3. Their 4th category is my 2nd.

Even before I found this test today I was feeling out of sorts, and yes hormonal, but overall unsettled. What if this is the wrong path? What should I be doing? What do I really want to do? I'm really feeling so lost right now. So unguided and directionless.

When I got back home from my trip to MN and TX I was feeling fantastic but now the high has faded. I'm feeling scared and confused. I can't keep being unemployed, financially, or realistically. I want to be around people again. I want to be productive again. I want to...something again but what?