There is nothing "wrong"

There is nothing "wrong" with me. According to blood tests, a CT scan and a Colonoscopy there is nothing wrong with my large intestine. That should be a relief and I suppose on one hand it is. But on the other then why do I feel this way?

I'm frustrated about having to go through all of those tests just to find out that I'm fine. There is nothing that my GI specialist can do for me except help to manage my symptoms with a variety of medicines. He suggested foods to stay away from which I already do. He also said that perhaps my symptoms will just go away on their own.

I wanted, really wanted, a definitive answer. That matches my personality so I guess I shouldn't be surprised by that at all. I wanted a final solution. I love being able to solve something. Like Algebra you get to solve for X and you're done. So elegantly simple and beautiful. I wanted to be able to change one thing or other that I was doing "wrong" and it would make everything better. That magic solve for X solution to my ills.

Life doesn't always have a magic one single solution to its problems, I do realize that. But considering how low I've been feeling lately I really could have used that in this scenario. At least one item on my list would have been an easy fix.

Right now there are several items that are bothering me and that I'm not able to solve easily. They will all take a lot of effort, focus and attention to get through. I just wish things were easier. I wish dating was simple or that finding a new job was simple or that solving my intestinal issues was simple. Couldn't one thing be simple?