I really have no patience. I don't like waiting. For anything. Probably part of the reason I don't like to cook is that you have to wait for the food to be done. Annoying.
My patience is being put to the test right now. Met someone new on Sunday morning that I'm very interested in seeing again. He said he'd call. He hasn't yet. He mentioned that he had a vendor in town on Monday and dinner with them Monday night so it's safe to assume that's why I didn't hear from him last night. The thought of waiting to see if he might call tonight is about to kill me. I truly might keel over dead right now as I type this.
What would you do? Should I wait to see if he calls tonight? Should I jump first and email him? Or what? Help I do not know what to do!
Man am I bad at being single and dating.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Recap and another Shred
Had a nothing much weekend. Could have been social and hid instead. On Sunday I was expecting a call from an elementary school friend but she didn't call. Feeds right into all of my insecurities. Instead I vacuumed out my car, took Tally to the dog park, and did another day of 30 day shred. So in truth Sunday wasn't all bad but it was supposed to be better.
Saturday I took Tally for a long meandering walk more than an hour to Green Lake and back. That felt good. That was all I did that day. Didn't even shower. Naps and way too much DIY TV. I got a call from a friend to go to a movie, let it go to voicemail and couldn't bring myself to call him back.
This morning there was snow on the ground. Snow in Seattle is becoming all too common and I do not like it at all.
I called to get Tally a surgery consult appointment to remove the polyp. An hour long appointment next Tuesday afternoon for $125. That's just the pre-op. God knows what the actual surgery will cost. Oh well she is more than worth it. She woke me up Sunday morning puking again. Wish I could figure out what triggers that.
That is all.
Saturday I took Tally for a long meandering walk more than an hour to Green Lake and back. That felt good. That was all I did that day. Didn't even shower. Naps and way too much DIY TV. I got a call from a friend to go to a movie, let it go to voicemail and couldn't bring myself to call him back.
This morning there was snow on the ground. Snow in Seattle is becoming all too common and I do not like it at all.
I called to get Tally a surgery consult appointment to remove the polyp. An hour long appointment next Tuesday afternoon for $125. That's just the pre-op. God knows what the actual surgery will cost. Oh well she is more than worth it. She woke me up Sunday morning puking again. Wish I could figure out what triggers that.
That is all.
Friday, February 6, 2009
*Audible SIGH*
Today should be good day. I mean it's a Friday. Friday, that day of the week that you dream for until your longing is so bad it hurts. But for some reason today sucks major poo holes. OK not major but serious.
I've got a headache. It's raining, gray and drab outside. Work is blech. I was supposed to have a massage last night but my gal cancelled. Talked to my dad last night and some of what he had to tell me mad me very sad. Right before he called I was about to start day 2 of 30 Day Shred but after the hour long call I just couldn't must up the motivation.
I tried to lighten my mood by having a comfort food breakfast. See:
That's a Grande Non-fat Chai and a Chocolate Glazed Old Fashioned Doughnut. And, yes, they were both nummy nummy nummers. But they are gone now. And to that I say dang, darn, drat.
So *SIGH* it is. Hopefully my smile will come back. Hopefully.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
She's home and mending
Tally has a polyp. The vet is going to check with a surgeon today to see what method they recommend for removal. Seems to be nothing too scary or problematic at this point. I suppose once they remove it they will run some tests to determine the nature of the polyp. The vet said that they are usually benign.
Poor little gal was so groggy when I picked her up last night. They had just finished the procedure about an hour or so before. She came to me with her ears pinned back to her head and only stopped for a moment to get a scratch before heading straight for the door. She was so groggy and out of it in the car ride home that she passed out on her face. When I turned around and saw her laying down I freaked out. She never lays down in the car. She always watches out the window the entire time. So I reached back to see if she was still breathing. Yes, I actually thought she might have died. I'm such a freak.
By the time we made it home she was so out of it that I had to carry her into the house. I laid her down in her bed and she stayed there for the next three hours hardly moving. Some time around 9 she finally pulled herself from her bed and laid down on the living room rug. Then about an hour later she finally made her way over to the couch and up to sit by me.
This morning she was still a bit tentative but seems to be recovering well. She was fine on our walk even if much more calm than her usual self.
Glad to have her back at home and its great to know what is going on with her. Even if I now have a whole new set of things to worry needlessly about.
Poor little gal was so groggy when I picked her up last night. They had just finished the procedure about an hour or so before. She came to me with her ears pinned back to her head and only stopped for a moment to get a scratch before heading straight for the door. She was so groggy and out of it in the car ride home that she passed out on her face. When I turned around and saw her laying down I freaked out. She never lays down in the car. She always watches out the window the entire time. So I reached back to see if she was still breathing. Yes, I actually thought she might have died. I'm such a freak.
By the time we made it home she was so out of it that I had to carry her into the house. I laid her down in her bed and she stayed there for the next three hours hardly moving. Some time around 9 she finally pulled herself from her bed and laid down on the living room rug. Then about an hour later she finally made her way over to the couch and up to sit by me.
This morning she was still a bit tentative but seems to be recovering well. She was fine on our walk even if much more calm than her usual self.
Glad to have her back at home and its great to know what is going on with her. Even if I now have a whole new set of things to worry needlessly about.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Nothing titular comes to mind
Tally is at the vet all day again. Dropped her off at 8 this morning. She finished the antibiotics on Friday morning and then Saturday morning she was bleeding again. I called the vet and the next step is to sedate her and send a scope up her nether regions. So there she is and here I am trying to concentrate on my job but failing miserably.
All I'm doing is thinking about. Thinking about the possible scenarios. Of course none of them good in my fatalistic mind. I'm so distracted. Unable to form coherent thought. Cannot possibly analyze the current state of the task lists and prioritize or forecast.
Had an awful intestinal bout last night. Still suffering today. Probably shouldn't have just eaten that caramel apple with peanuts but damn did it taste good and I really needed something.
Just want to leave and walk Tally in the sunshine. That's all my brain and intestines can handle today. It's only 2. I wonder when they'll call me to let me know what's going on. I don't like waiting. Not knowing. Worrying. I'm tired. Should have had some caffeine today I suppose.
I have this spot on the side of the pointer finger on my right hand. It's really dry and rough and almost like a callous. Seems like it should be from where a writing implement rubs or something but that's not where I hold a pen/pencil/marker/crayon.
The backs of my knees, my kneepit I guess, gets itchy a lot. Did you know that it's nearly impossible to see my kneepits? I just can't seem to see them no matter how I stretch or flex.
Saturday night I got a parking ticket. I've never gotten a parking ticket, well except for that time in high school when I was actually 'parking' in the minivan and the cops flashlight only flashed the front seats. $44 for parking in a Zone Parking Only area. Grrrrr.
Still tired. Perhaps caffeine is in order. I shall go check out our stock of free pop and such all the while wishing for my cell to ring and have the vet tell me that all is well with my little bear dog.
All I'm doing is thinking about. Thinking about the possible scenarios. Of course none of them good in my fatalistic mind. I'm so distracted. Unable to form coherent thought. Cannot possibly analyze the current state of the task lists and prioritize or forecast.
Had an awful intestinal bout last night. Still suffering today. Probably shouldn't have just eaten that caramel apple with peanuts but damn did it taste good and I really needed something.
Just want to leave and walk Tally in the sunshine. That's all my brain and intestines can handle today. It's only 2. I wonder when they'll call me to let me know what's going on. I don't like waiting. Not knowing. Worrying. I'm tired. Should have had some caffeine today I suppose.
I have this spot on the side of the pointer finger on my right hand. It's really dry and rough and almost like a callous. Seems like it should be from where a writing implement rubs or something but that's not where I hold a pen/pencil/marker/crayon.
The backs of my knees, my kneepit I guess, gets itchy a lot. Did you know that it's nearly impossible to see my kneepits? I just can't seem to see them no matter how I stretch or flex.
Saturday night I got a parking ticket. I've never gotten a parking ticket, well except for that time in high school when I was actually 'parking' in the minivan and the cops flashlight only flashed the front seats. $44 for parking in a Zone Parking Only area. Grrrrr.
Still tired. Perhaps caffeine is in order. I shall go check out our stock of free pop and such all the while wishing for my cell to ring and have the vet tell me that all is well with my little bear dog.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Feeling harfy & Weekend Recap
Today my intestines are trying to stage a coop. They are threatening to leave my body entirely by which ever end they can get to first. Not a lovely feeling at all. Trouble is we are already down 5 people today and it's only a 16 person office. So here I stay sipping Mint Tea and praying to make it until 4:30. I think I can. I think I can.
I made it to the grocery store on Sunday. Inspired by P&D's comment. Made it easier to handle and for that I am eternally grateful, Shauna. Even though I was only gone for under 40 minutes Tally made sure to show me her disgust at my leaving her behind by attacking the Kleenex box from my bedroom. She just loves to tear up those little pop-up tissues. She must have a runny nose or something.
Saturday evening/night I actually got out of the house and ran errands and had Thai food with friends. It was really great! Should try to remember that I do like being social. 2009: Not the year of the Ox, the year of being social! Go forth and socialize. I guess I'll go waste time on Facebook now. That's social, right?
I made it to the grocery store on Sunday. Inspired by P&D's comment. Made it easier to handle and for that I am eternally grateful, Shauna. Even though I was only gone for under 40 minutes Tally made sure to show me her disgust at my leaving her behind by attacking the Kleenex box from my bedroom. She just loves to tear up those little pop-up tissues. She must have a runny nose or something.
Saturday evening/night I actually got out of the house and ran errands and had Thai food with friends. It was really great! Should try to remember that I do like being social. 2009: Not the year of the Ox, the year of being social! Go forth and socialize. I guess I'll go waste time on Facebook now. That's social, right?
Thursday, January 22, 2009
I hate the grocery store
I don't like going grocery shopping. I put it off all of the time. I'm at the point right now where my fridge consists of condiments, a couple of tortillas, and a nearly empty bag of shredded cheese. That's worse than many bachelors I know.
Food is my enemy. I don't like to cook just for myself. I don't like to spend time at the grocery store just to by food for myself. I do not like it at all.
I had thought about starting to use Amazon Fresh. They deliver to my neighborhood. It would save me the dreaded trip to the store. But then the layoffs happened at work and I got scared. Scared of spending a bit of additional money on food when I should be scrimping every single cent I possibly can because my god have you noticed the economy is in the crapper and people are losing their jobs all around you?
But I still hate the grocery store and wish I could make food magically appear in my house through little to no work on my part. Certainly that could happen with Amazon Fresh or ordering pizza or Chinese every night. That's not logical and neither is my detest of the grocery store but that doesn't mean I'm not sitting here right now dreading the fact that I need to go to that evil place tonight. Evil hated awful place.
Food is my enemy. I don't like to cook just for myself. I don't like to spend time at the grocery store just to by food for myself. I do not like it at all.
I had thought about starting to use Amazon Fresh. They deliver to my neighborhood. It would save me the dreaded trip to the store. But then the layoffs happened at work and I got scared. Scared of spending a bit of additional money on food when I should be scrimping every single cent I possibly can because my god have you noticed the economy is in the crapper and people are losing their jobs all around you?
But I still hate the grocery store and wish I could make food magically appear in my house through little to no work on my part. Certainly that could happen with Amazon Fresh or ordering pizza or Chinese every night. That's not logical and neither is my detest of the grocery store but that doesn't mean I'm not sitting here right now dreading the fact that I need to go to that evil place tonight. Evil hated awful place.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
She's back. And Our President is Barack!
Tally was back to her usual energetic self all afternoon and I loved every single second of it. While she was at the Vet yesterday, I stopped in a pet store and bought her an "Industrial Strength" tennis ball. Today she played the heck out of it. She loves to toss it up in the air and then lunge after it slipping and sliding across the hardwoods. And a few times she decided that I simply had to play with her as well. I've also been able to leave her e-collar (cone) off for the entire day which is a huge bonus as well.
She and I spent the early morning @ Ed's watching all of the inaugural fanfare with Melanie. What a glorious moment in our history. I'm thrilled and excited for what is to come.
Tonight I'm going to sit, pet my dog and wish I wasn't going back to work tomorrow.
She and I spent the early morning @ Ed's watching all of the inaugural fanfare with Melanie. What a glorious moment in our history. I'm thrilled and excited for what is to come.
Tonight I'm going to sit, pet my dog and wish I wasn't going back to work tomorrow.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Tally update
This morning Tally was very off. She'd spent most of the day Sunday sleeping and didn't even ask to go out for a walk. Then this morning she didn't do her usual waking me up routine. She didn't push open my door right after the alarm went off. Then I went out to feed her and she hardly wanted to eat. And let me tell you that is NOT like her at all. Usually she can hardly contain herself wanting to eat so badly. She did get her breakfast down but her reaction freaked the living crap out of me. So I jumped in the shower to get her to the vet as quickly as I could.
She was already scheduled to spend the day there getting some more tests done. So I dropped her off and cried as I drove away. I hate leaving her there even though I know that each and every person there just loves her to pieces.
Called Heather crying asking if I could spend the day with her and the kids. That was the best possible thing I could have done to keep my mind off where Tally was and what might be wrong. The kids as usual were fantastic and Heather was of course a perfect friend.
Around 4 I couldn't stand it anymore and called the Vet. They said that she was doing fine and that the Dr would give me a call as soon as she could. About an hour later she called and said that Tally was fine, that the swab from Saturday revealed she definitely has an infection of some sort and took some urine in order to determine what kind. She got a shot of an antibiotic and some pills that she'll start on tomorrow.
Right now she's cuddled up next to me on the couch and sleeping soundly. I couldn't be happier to have her home with me. She's still a bit off but I'll keep hoping all is well and do everything in my power to keep her happy and healthy. She's got my heart and I think I've got hers. We're a matched set us two. Stay around for a lot more years, OK little miss Tally bear? Hugs.
She was already scheduled to spend the day there getting some more tests done. So I dropped her off and cried as I drove away. I hate leaving her there even though I know that each and every person there just loves her to pieces.
Called Heather crying asking if I could spend the day with her and the kids. That was the best possible thing I could have done to keep my mind off where Tally was and what might be wrong. The kids as usual were fantastic and Heather was of course a perfect friend.
Around 4 I couldn't stand it anymore and called the Vet. They said that she was doing fine and that the Dr would give me a call as soon as she could. About an hour later she called and said that Tally was fine, that the swab from Saturday revealed she definitely has an infection of some sort and took some urine in order to determine what kind. She got a shot of an antibiotic and some pills that she'll start on tomorrow.
Right now she's cuddled up next to me on the couch and sleeping soundly. I couldn't be happier to have her home with me. She's still a bit off but I'll keep hoping all is well and do everything in my power to keep her happy and healthy. She's got my heart and I think I've got hers. We're a matched set us two. Stay around for a lot more years, OK little miss Tally bear? Hugs.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
What is new-ish
Things have been tough at work. 6 people laid off on Thursday. Much more work landing on my desk. Makes me nervous that I won't be able to keep up but I still have a job. Thank goodness for that.
Tally has a vet appointment tomorrow. She'll need to stay all day. They are going to put her under to do several tests. I'm very nervous about it. I hate leaving her there. I hate the thought that something is wrong and we don't yet know what. More symptoms and fewer answers. Stressful for me. Hopefully not so for her in the long run. First time I've had to have her anesthetized and that alone makes me nervous. I'm going to say a million pleases between now and when I pick her up at the end of the day tomorrow. Please let her be OK. Please let this be easy to cure and solve. Please. Do you hear me? Please.
Taking tomorrow and Tuesday off of work. Was hoping to get somethings done around the house. So far I've not accomplished anything, well except finally posting here again. Hoping to get a bit of painting and organizing done but seems unlikely the more time that passes.
Been reading a lot. Always on the bus and before bed. Love reading on the bus. Makes the commute pass so easily and quickly. Except for during the Christmas snow craziness. That was a bus nightmare. Part of the reason I've taken Monday off. My usual bus isn't running and I just cannot stand the thought of having to take another. What a snob I am. But there it is. And I wanted to take Tuesday off in order to watch the inauguration. I've never seen one but this one seems too important not to.
Back to the books. There's been "The Amazing Adventure of Kavalier and Clay" which I had tried to get into a few times before but was never able to. Made it through quickly this time. A really great book. Then there was "Outlander" which I'd also tried to read several times previously. Made it through this time and enjoyed it. Not enough to read any of the following books but a good read nonetheless. A few weeks ago I went to Half Price books and bought several new ones. Right now I'm reading "The Alphabet Sisters". I enjoy the author and have read two of her others. There are four more books next to my bed as well. Lots of reading for me.
Not sure what I want to accomplish today. Nothing or lot of things... Nothing is so much easier but lots of things to do. Have to see how it goes. Go with the flow or something like that.
Tally has a vet appointment tomorrow. She'll need to stay all day. They are going to put her under to do several tests. I'm very nervous about it. I hate leaving her there. I hate the thought that something is wrong and we don't yet know what. More symptoms and fewer answers. Stressful for me. Hopefully not so for her in the long run. First time I've had to have her anesthetized and that alone makes me nervous. I'm going to say a million pleases between now and when I pick her up at the end of the day tomorrow. Please let her be OK. Please let this be easy to cure and solve. Please. Do you hear me? Please.
Taking tomorrow and Tuesday off of work. Was hoping to get somethings done around the house. So far I've not accomplished anything, well except finally posting here again. Hoping to get a bit of painting and organizing done but seems unlikely the more time that passes.
Been reading a lot. Always on the bus and before bed. Love reading on the bus. Makes the commute pass so easily and quickly. Except for during the Christmas snow craziness. That was a bus nightmare. Part of the reason I've taken Monday off. My usual bus isn't running and I just cannot stand the thought of having to take another. What a snob I am. But there it is. And I wanted to take Tuesday off in order to watch the inauguration. I've never seen one but this one seems too important not to.
Back to the books. There's been "The Amazing Adventure of Kavalier and Clay" which I had tried to get into a few times before but was never able to. Made it through quickly this time. A really great book. Then there was "Outlander" which I'd also tried to read several times previously. Made it through this time and enjoyed it. Not enough to read any of the following books but a good read nonetheless. A few weeks ago I went to Half Price books and bought several new ones. Right now I'm reading "The Alphabet Sisters". I enjoy the author and have read two of her others. There are four more books next to my bed as well. Lots of reading for me.
Not sure what I want to accomplish today. Nothing or lot of things... Nothing is so much easier but lots of things to do. Have to see how it goes. Go with the flow or something like that.
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