Friday, September 14, 2007

The coping "skills" at work

This is how I cope: I eat Smartfood and Cherry Sours for dinner. No joke. That is what I ate for dinner last night. Oh and visiting the brand new Barnes and Noble @ Northgate to stock up on books for the trip. A little retail and junk food therapy. Works wonders every time.

Or at least I'm hoping it will. So far today I am the only one in the office. I get here at 7:30 and everyone else gets to roll in whenever they want. Which some days means 8-ish and other times not until 10. Ah someone has just arrived it's 8:40. The test is on.

Would Carol be proud of the skills I have developed? 5 years of therapy. Were they useful? Most definitely! But I still feel very out of sorts and confused when my emotions get the better of me like they did yesterday. My life is much easier on me when I'm at a nice even state. Sort of like Cesar Millan's Calm Assertive mantra. When I'm at those ends of the spectrum, both the lows and the highs, I feel off balance and strange.

Perhaps I should embrace my "skills" and call them something more official like mechanisms or tactics. Does that make them seem more useful and less like I failed last night? Nope. Feels like last night I was hiding away. Besides the necessary Target outing and the B&N trip I spent the rest of the evening watching saved shows on my DVR and eating aforementioned "dinner". Ah sweet escape.

I think this trip to Texas could not have come at a better time. I get to see Dad and Liz!! And Grandpa and Uncle Wayne. What could be better? Time away from the real life and a few days in a stress free zone. Sign me up!

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