Thursday, September 13, 2007

The job and the anger

So what do you do when you get so angry about your job you want to walk out? It's silly and insane to even think that anything in this job would anger me so much but today something did.

I am responsible for sending out this publication for the company and it involves a process that I don't yet understand and only have done twice in the 6+ months I've worked here. So how often does it take you to learn a multi-step process that you only go through once every three months? Am I stupid because I don't know how yet?

Here is the crux of the issue. My job is ridiculously easy. I mean easy to the point of nearly boring me to death. For a while I liked that I didn't have much to do at work. First of all it was a very welcome change from life at my previous job where I was everything to everyone all day every day. I stayed at that place for more than 7 years even though I hated it from nearly day one. Talk about draining!

Then I started at this job and all I was responsible for was myself. Taking care of what the customers need and that was it. Holy hell was that cool or what!??! My boss rarely checks in on me. I never have to prove that I'm doing anything at all. As long as the renewals keep coming in and the customers are happy he's fine. So what's my problem? Really what?

This is where the anger comes in. The aforementioned subscription is supposed to be published every quarter. The one I had to send today is dated "July-August-September". Do you see what I'm getting at? This publication should have been sent out in July! Here it is already September 13th and I'm just sending it! As the person who has to deal with all of the customers I feel horrible that these poor people are getting gypped. But why should I care? Well hell because I just do.

I suppose I should tell you how I spend most of my days, reading other people's blogs. Honestly I am getting paid to sit at this desk for 8 hours a day and surf the internet for my own personal information gathering. Oh and then there's the fact that I started this blog which I am now writing in while at work and all previous posts have been made while at work. So really I have nothing to complain about. So I shouldn't but hell I'm going to. So there.

I'm angry that I'm supposed to know how to do something that big boss man doesn't know how to do, never really showed me how to do and seems to think I'm an idiot for not knowing how to do. Angry Angry Angry. Or am I just hormonal? Ah hell who knows either way as Jess always says "feeling are real" and I'm angry. And truely I'm also bored.

So what am I going to do about it? Am I ready to start looking for something new? Am I ready to put myself back into the job seeking world? Not sure. Maybe now that I've moved into the anger stage (which stage of grief is that one?) I'll be able to move to the next step. What ever that next step might be.

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